this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And they say pheromones don’t work on humans. Yea aight

[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Because we don't have receptors for them, yes. Science is cool.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"pheromones is when a lil stinky"

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

I pheromoned in the toilet this morning! And a tiny amount in my own asscheeks overnight

Edit: apparently y'all don't like poop jokes. Noted, but not heeded

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ur mom was phero-moning my name haha gottem

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago

I thought I told you to stop talking to me, Dad

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

but not heeded

Atta boy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What is it that a fartographer would do exactly?

If a cartographer maps out the land, would a fartographer map out the bowels?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

They draw the pollution map overlay in Factorio

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

They are frequently wrong.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Could have done without the Elon comment just so I can avoid thinking about that choad for 5 minutes on the internet

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 months ago (1 children)

While I understand the sentiment, I have to disagree.

This is nearly perfect comedy, Without the final redirect it's just a rant about Fake Plastic Trees

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

And it wears me out....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Seconded. Also as regards the perfume kind of musk, if I wanted to fuck a civet I'd fuck a civet.

(I wouldn't because civets can't consent. So I guess there's a place for musk perfume: for frustrated civetfuckers.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Let the civet fuck you, then it's consensual.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

But would you fuck a Civic?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tbh Europeans of the start of the nineteenth century had this too, but with Napoleon.

Who was turned away for losing and putting hundreds of thousands to their early grave. And then the king came back and they were like 'oh this Napoleon guy wasn't so bad after all.'

And then Napoleon lost again, got exiled and again the king retuned, people became so desirous of late Napoleon again that they elevated his nephew to emperor.

So you can say at least that however bad technocrats are, kings seem to be worse, by a margin.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

it turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I think that was part of the humor intended. Because it was spelled with a lower case m, which (ignoring the author's possibility of mistakes) means it was referring to the smell and not the person.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Same. I've filtered out a lot of keywords in my feed and I hate that it still comes up in screenshots. I'm just so tired.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

Damn, this got me feeling some kind of way

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

If you think the internet only has squeaky clean porn I have some news...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Well u know what I just read a gross manga of having sex and throwing semon on girl ass while popping and also on the poop 💩. Gross as hell and now cannot eat or think about sex properly.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The priest was throwing down his sermon, while high on girl ass, and popping, while standing in poop?....all at the same time?

Was the sermon about gross manga or having sex?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not sermon. "Semon". It's Jamaican cum.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Didn't know that. Going with the rest of the Grammer, I just thought it was a typo (seamen).

I just typed up the scenario that I thought up after reading your post.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Well your just broadened my horizon

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

not your kink then, now you know to avoid anything with "scat" in the tags

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

My buddies will love this one