this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 118 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Proper uncensored version thanks to @baatliwala@lemmy.world

Couldn't find a wild uncensored version, so here's an edited version. #FuckCensorship

[–] socsa@piefed.social 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ohhhh i thought it said duck and I was confused

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 14 points 3 months ago

What a quack.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hold a duck once, didn't know it was that widespread.

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[–] mhague@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

If you post censored shit I'm going to PM you shittingdicknipples and lemonparty.

/shakes tiny fist wistfully

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 17 points 3 months ago

Pftt I’m not afraid of a drink!

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You'll touch my dick and you'll like it goddammit

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I wonder what it says under that grey bar. No way to tell.

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[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 12 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Counterpoint: a greater number have touched a vagina (but that framing doesn't obsess over a woman's sexual purity, so, clearly less important)

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Everyone has touched a vagina. You at least passed one on the way out.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not people who were born via Caesarean.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The amount of technical correctness in this post is out of this world

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

That one pissed off Macbeth, too.

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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 9 points 3 months ago

I should hope so. If somebody shook my hand and, while maintaining eye contact, and confessed they've been free-willying every pee of their life, hands behand their head, I would have to seriously reconsider our relationship.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Mine has also been up to the wrist in vagina, with moderate colon (limited to the digits). I let people know this before they shake my hand, in the spirit of transparency.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (9 children)

Never thought about it but obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons. And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand. This is now stuck in my head. The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hey, uh, don't refer to male humans as "men" and then female humans as "females" like that. It's kinda dehumanizing.

Like, I get calling men, "males" and women "females", because I'll do that sometimes (I claim fur-brain as my defense, because calling anthro characters "man" or "woman" is weird); but try not to do the thing where you say "men" then "females" as if we're a complete different species. That's... just... not appropriate in a normal context.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

“male” and “female” are more appropriate as adjectives than nouns

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes! I've been trying to figure out what the fuck the difference is for a long time but for some reason that explanation kept eluding me; I don't mind being called "a female [blank]", but just being called "a female" bothers me. But that's it right there, it's when it's used as a noun.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

it’s literally objectifying you

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Good god, that's what I came to say. Thank you.

We got the lemmy police on here though. "You can't say that word!"

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 18 points 3 months ago

You're assuming all women of sufficient age have had sex, which is just not true. Many women (and men) don't have an interest in sexual activity, or haven't had an opportunity to engage in it, regardless of age.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 months ago

everyman

females

Everywomen/everymales

all [women] old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.

Nah.

[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Bruh forgot about trans people, lesbians, and asexuals

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (4 children)

show me where it says lesbians can't love cock

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Kind of irrelevant, because there's lots of lesbians who have never touched a dick.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean dildos are shaped like dicks generally so they probably have nothing against Dick, just the useless shit attached to it

[–] superkret@feddit.org 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What if I told you that neither dicks nor dick-shaped objects are necessary for great sex?

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[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 4 points 3 months ago

No protests from me, just stating facts that there are plenty of people who don't as well

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[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Gonna has to go piece by piece through this:

obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons.

This line is trans-exclusive, which would probably be given a pass by all but the most ardent trans-inclusive commenters, but still not great.

And all females

Dude. There are some times when an argument is made that saying "females" is not inherently objectifying, especially in a scientific, military, or other setting where people are categorized that way, with the significant difference being consistency (e.g. man/woman, male/female, etc). Using one then the other strips all that away and makes it seem like referring to women as "females" is just your normal tendency, which strongly suggests the objectifying behavior.

And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.

This is just obviously wrong, as plenty of lesbians, asexual people, or those with lack of access to sexual connections with others have not had a dick in their hands, and that is not an insignificant percentage of women, I'd imagine.

The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.

As if to underline the "females" comment, it's pretty telling that you feel it worth mentioning that you're going to wonder how many dicks were in the hands of women, but not men (especially funny since any man you meet has most likely had a dick in his hand more recently than a woman).

Sometimes it is difficult to notice your own biases, so I hope this makes you think about what leads you toward thinking like this, and just general self-reflection.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 3 months ago

And some men sit to pee

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There are so many issues with this comment. Judgy and naïve in the best interpretation.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Men/Women Male/Female

Those are the pairings you wanted. But, for fun, try swapping them next time and see what kind of attitude folks get.

Male/Women

Do it. Rustle some jimmies.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

LOL. The politically correct police are on your ass tonight!

I cannot believe the seriousness of these replies. What is it the kids say? "Touch grass"?

[–] superkret@feddit.org 7 points 3 months ago

Pretty sure it's "eat ass".

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It is amazing how so many people cannot simply joke around. Politics so consume their lives every single thing in life is viewed only in that context. And not only cannot they not simply joke around they are on a mission to impose their views on anyone who disagrees with them. What a sad way to go through life. Social media in general is all a joke. And this group specifically is all about just getting a laugh.

[–] AwakenedAce@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

Impose their views on people who disagree with them? Damn that's crazy, people want others to treat people with respect and not be bigoted? How political

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[–] not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 months ago (6 children)

bro is gonna loose it when he learns about lesbians

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Skin renews every vew days.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Mine has a dick in it pretty regularly. The point is still valid...

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Some have even tested the depths of a twat or two

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[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

"Almost" is a bit optimistic. Are femcels getting office jobs these days?

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