this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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top 49 comments
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I believe that Ronald may be made of asbestos

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

That's funny cuz he tastes like lead paint

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He clearly started the fire

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Maybe. All I know is that Billy Joel and his crew didn't.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Unrelated to the post, but there's an updated version of that song from Fall Out Boy: https://youtu.be/2LkVKCWL0U4

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Fair warning: nobody asked for it and nobody should listen to it. It's terrible.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean I figured that out when they said Fall Out Boy.

Plus, why would listen to that version when The Hoff did a version? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoRUe9xXin4 (It is also awful, but I mean that's obvious. It's David Hasselhoff.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fall Out Boy slander will not be tolerated

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I speak only in great truths.

One of those truths is that two string quartets have thought it was a good idea to cover that song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djULDN0aubM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD9BaPsHwEc

The correct number, incidentally, is zero string quartets.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I don't think it's terrible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not the biggest fan of the Fall Out Boy cover, but everyone here that wasn't alive when the original came out is doing themselves a disservice by not listening.

The lyrics have been updated, it's not a cover. Hearing Trump's name in the same song that mentions MySpace and Sandy Hook has got to be the same level of cultural whiplash as Billy Joel mentioning "Wheel of Fortune," Watergate, Joseph Stalin, and "Stranger in a Strange Land." Except it really hits home, because those of us that weren't adults when the original came out recognize and have memories of almost everything in the song, just like Billy Joel intended.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Almost everything is correct, because not everyone is as way into boxing as Billy Joel. He mentions multiple boxers in the song.

I mean I'm not shocked, he was a boxer himself before he became a professional musician, but it's still funny he apparently thought everyone else was as into boxing as he was and so those names would resonate as much as Liberace's or Satayana's.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That's something I never noticed. And a little Billy Joel trivia I didn't know. Really could not see the man knocking someone out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Exactly. I enjoy the updated lyrics.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why do some folks have a [+1] after their names?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are you using Voyager? That might be the user tags feature that's counting your upvotes per user. You can toggle it in the settings.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I am, thanks for the info. I just enabled that feature recently and didn’t realize that was part of it. Cheers

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I'm an elder millennial and I remember thinking there was a very real possibility that Ronald would be in MY McDonald's at least ONCE when I went there. I thought about that when I was a kid too.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I remember when I was a kid in the 80s, some McDonald's had a yellow phone which you could pick up and "talk to Ronald." I was terrified of the idea.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

lol I was a kid then too and I’ve never heard of this. What kind of shit would he say? Was it just a line to the managers office? And what kind of things did the kids say to him? It’s like some kind of help line “My parents beat me and make me wear long sleeves in the summer.”

Or more likely it was just some stupid recording.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I'm sure it was just a recording, but I was terrified of the idea that you could pick up a phone and talk to Ronald. And I wasn't a kid who was afraid of clowns or anything.

It doesn't help that it looks creepy as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I worked at McDonald's and they had an official Ronald actor visit once, so it could happen.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I remember a new McDonald's opening in the 80's & both Ronald & Grimace were there. I also remember being angry that day because there were too many kids on the playground.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

"Mac and Me" propaganda works!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Recently, McDonalds announced an initiative to remove all instances of Ronald McDonald from their stores.

So, Ronald McDonald removed all instances of McDonalds from around him.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The god of hell fire himself. I'd watch the series.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I think you could get a five episode miniseries with an epic arc where Ronald, God of Fire takes humanoid form and finally accepts his sexuality.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Our Ronald in McHeaven Hallowed be thy fries

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Thy kingdom come, burgers well done,

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

"We clown in this mf. Take yo sensitive ass back to hell!" — Ronald McDonald, 2025 EIEIO

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You'll be safe under his golden arches

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Turns fire into fried hamburgers!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

He looks like he's contemplating murdering the person who burnt his shop down.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Now everybody’s down at McDonalds, they’re down with Ronald McDonald, and now they’re hitting the bottle and everybody cool.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

6 hours before: "This is fine"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This could become a religion.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

It's so crazy to me which random ass people claiming some connection to divinity get elevated to dios while so many other cheap magicians are discarded.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It secretly believe in ronald. It's just that I hate him and wish he weren't real.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My child, have you thought about how your the only thing standing between your soul and eternal hellfire is a Quarter Pounder meal deal?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

You know how fiberglass is made up of resin and slivers of glass? Well asbestos also forms into slivers...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ronald the unburnt breaker of diets heir to the French fry throne

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Fire cannot kill a dragon

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

So I know a guy who was in a band that had a logo involving a crucified Elvis. He told me he once went down to Tijuana and he saw a guy making the famous velvet paintings and he had a bunch of Elvis and a bunch of Jesus being crucified. So the guy I know asked the painter if he could paint Elvis being crucified. He said he almost got chased to the border by incensed Catholics.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

He’ll always remind me of this: McDonald’s rap

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

"You're gonna be flame-grilled Anakin..."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

God damn Ronald! Okay okay... I believe in magic.