this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
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Summary

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has ordered lie detector tests for DHS staff to identify leaks that allegedly foiled immigration raids, including a failed Colorado operation targeting Venezuelan gang members.

The directive, leaked to Bloomberg, requires polygraph questions about unauthorized communications with media and nonprofits. Despite polygraphs' unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.

The crackdown follows frustration from Trump’s border czar Tom Homan over compromised raids and aligns with broader MAGA-era efforts to control government communication.

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[–] [email protected] 153 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If the lie detectors don't work, torture is always an option.

Do we call them the Gestapo yet or is it too soon?

[–] [email protected] 83 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lie detectors don’t work except as an intimidation technique so, yes, it’s Gestapo time.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They work great...

At detecting how nervous someone is.

Just completely shut at detecting when someone's lying.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Yup. Sociopaths are invisible on the lie detector. Plus these days, it isn't that hard to build a biofeedback practice device so people control the metrics monitored by the polygraph.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Lie detectors are known to not work

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's gazpacho! - Empty G.

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[–] [email protected] 95 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Why is Noem wearing a bulletproof vest in a staff meeting?

[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Realistic assessment of the mood of people forced to be around her?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Honestly ya may not be far off, humans even profligates like those in Trumps orbit have a generally good enough ability to detect when folks are pissed at them. When said pissed folks have access to weapons, are more intelligent than you, and probably think what you are saying is beyond stupid then well wearing a comfort vest is probably the only thing keeping her from booking it out of the room.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Maybe ICE ordered a bunch of pizza the night before and the delivery kid tipped people off.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It's a thing about the nervous systems of old world primates, like us, we're always making those assessments.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Which is why she's ordered the lie detectors. They only know what they see in the movies, and lie detectors are one of their favorite devices.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

You ever seen the dictator warlords constantly wearing miliary gear with too much polish and a thousand made up medals?

That's why.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

She’s a very serious person with very serious things going on! /s

She’s worried someone will put her down like she did her dog

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Funniest thing about that is they only help in an all-out fire fight to protect your vital bits except the head which would have a helmet. She’s not going into any situation nearly so dangerous and if someone wanted to take her out, specifically, there’s plenty of options.

She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

She wants to feel special

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Daily reminder that there's no such thing as an accurate lie detector test. Completely unscientific. Illegal to use except by government and it's basically a scare tactic/way to deny/fire people they don't have other cause for.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Ah, you have half of it.

Totally made up metrics but used by govt. Meaning that if there was ever an easy way to purge ICE and DHS of brown people, this is an easy, no fuss way to do it.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago

All the kings horses

and all the kings men

Couldn’t make Americans think

cops were bad again

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oooh, when do we get to deploy the E-Meters?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I’m going to sell divining rods to help find the immigrants.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's a lie if the person interpreting the test says it is.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It should be pretty common knowledge that lie detector tests are completely bogus and can't be trusted. They're not admissible in court cases. Polygraph tests are proven to be made up pseudoscience.

They might as well try using crystal pendulum tests to dowse out the national security threats.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I want to point out - the results are inadmissible, but anything you say IS admissable.

A polygraph is an interrogation technique. And to this day I still don't know why they try to use it with so many things. Like security clearance. It doesn't really give them any insight into anything about you, other than if you like to run your mouth

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I reckon she’s also somewhat leaky.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Despite polygraphs' unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.

in keeping with tradition, “national security” continues to mean “because i say so”.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

“This isn’t a game,” Homan raged to the Associated Press. “We know that TDA is dangerous. Everybody can agree to that, but when they get a heads-up that we are coming, it’s only a matter of time before our officers are ambushed. Their job is dangerous enough. So we are going to address this very seriously.”

I don't think that leaking this is a good idea, but come on. If gangs find out in advance that they're about to be raided, are they going to disappear or seriously voluntarily going to stay and have a shootout with DHS?

Like, this can certainly mess up investigations, but I have a pretty hard time believing that it's going to get DHS agents killed.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Gucci just needs to come out with bullet proof vests. They won’t work for shit, but all the republican women will buy one.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

She gets her training and ideas from episodes of NCIS and CSI... and their neverending variants.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

“What do you mean we don’t have cameras on every angle?”

*America is saved again by surveillance, tune in next week*

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I for one am very excited and sleep soundly now, knowing complete idiots are in control of the United States.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

That is the single most ridiculous picture I've seen all week.

And that's saying something.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I like that her directive to combat leaking was itself leaked.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They’d be just as successful using a ouija board.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As long as they got their Luigi board from a witch, or a vegan.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

People like her are dumb enough to believe "lie detector" tests are completely dependable and always print out perfectly clear "lie" and "not lie" results. Everyone else knows polygraph tests are inadmissible in court for a reason and require a lot of careful prep and interpretation. Even then, they're far from 100%.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Dhs should take the classes the inventor of the lie detector offers on how to beat it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's the dogs... Specifically puppies that aren't "acting right"... They're "leaking"...

Good thing she has experience dealing with bad dogs.

🤦‍♀️🫏🤡🖕🖕

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