this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
182 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 178 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Ima put on some vinyl gloves and punch anon in the face several times.

It wasn’t me! My hands didn’t touch his face!

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago

Officer, is it a crime to punch my own vinyl??

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 106 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Why would I give some woman I barely know my hard earned cum?

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I save mine in a milk jug to drink later. Can't let any of my vital essence go to waste.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

that link is staying green, and the amazon bot spying on my account will thank me for i t

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well the main gist is vidible form the link itself

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

idk the cum flan in the cover is really something, looks just like a regular one, you'd never know.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

memes but instead of posting images we post amazon links

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's from Dr. Strangelove, right ?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I need to rewatch that movie

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Look at Mr. Fancy Pants over here with a dedicated jug. Just slurp straight from the rubber.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Save it all up for your wedding night. Let the sperms fight for dominance in the milk jug, that only the strongest and fittest sperm survives to merge with the egg.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

this might be of interest to you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

"I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 months ago

Taking bets they do not think women who’ve only fucked dudes with condoms on are virgins

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If dick making contact with vagina is all that it takes to not be a virgin, then no one born with a penis through normal vaginal birth is a virgin once born because your penis probably touched your mom's vagina.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

A girl in my high-school actually said this (Not word for word obvs) and when I mentioned that would every woman has has lesbian sex at least once she became very very upset.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Thanks for the mind-worm, I hate it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

This fact is highly unpleasant and i hate you for 5 minutes

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

OOP has never had sex. This is proof

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

did you remove your own upvote after posting...?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Yes, infact I sometimes downvote my own comment if I feel like my comment is shit

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

Lecturing a Chan user on condangs is like asking your dog his thoughts on the Flat Tax.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

*greentext was sponsored by the Federalist Society

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I much prefer the Japanese propaganda

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Anon got sodomized and desperately needs to believe it doesn't count.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

are you a bagfucker or a vagfucker

Bold of you to assume I fuck, however I may be a buttfucker so ever thought about that Anon?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
> are you a vagfucker of a bagfucker

I'm a buttfucker

> gender neutral
> even you can get penetrated
> you can even do it with your friends
> no pregnancy
> is really satisfying
> "but what about the poop?" 
just get an enema, or even get into scat
> you're literally fucking the better hole
> you're literally fucking the better tits
> "but what about incontinence" 
relatively rare, if happens just get into diapers

Peehole fucking is also an option, but it will very likely come with incontinence and a UTI.