Wizards

Three-day weekends pretty please

gestures around broadly Can you do anything about this?

One downvote, please

Edit: this is fucking bullshit...

Remove all fascists in a way that they deserve

Yeah I'll have a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Empathy for everyone, without the ability to suppress it using drugs.

For all of us to have a good day tomorrow

I want a buttplug that's programmed to win the next elections.

Can you pick up some frozen peas?

A pack of condoms and, uh... What was it that I used to eat all the time back in the day? Oh yeah, some pussy.

Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range

Get me a big tiddy goth girlfriend?

Could we add a magic system? Like the kind that will just fuck everything up, and brings enormous health benefits as you improve

Can you cure my depression

Some potato chips.

Trash throwed at the bin across the room go into it everytime, without fail.

Bro what a fantastic meme 🙏

Make me a cis girl pleeeeeeease :3

Financial freedom would be pretty neat if you could swing it my good wizard dude

2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps please

I want to have your powers, too. Thanks.

I would very much like the Witching Cloak from Fables in my possession

• Lets the wearer take on any form and converse with animals
• Wearer becomes impervious to all damage
• Infinite number of items can be stored within its folds
• Has programmable folding and teleportation actions

If you do grant me this boon, dear Wizard, I shall set you up with not one but two, two, dates with Cinderella.

As many pixies and goblins as you can summon into the toilets of Mar a Lago.

If I could be 20 again, that would great... And if you're feeling generous, maybe some wizarding lessons?

I assume this includes changing the past so how about have Bernie win the 2016 Democratic Primary.

Or go back and have SCOTUS say the 2000 Florida recount could continue until the true winner was determined.

Or go back and have Carter win in 1980 by revealing the collusion between the Reagan campaign and Iran (might have to include breaking the OPEC bullshit too).

If none of that, and assuming "free will" can't be overridden, maybe Freaky Friday the consciousnesses of the 2024 Democratic candidates &. spouses into the bodies of the Republican equivalents. If there's some limitation based on the biological sex of the participants, put Doug into Trump and Kamala into Melania, they're a team anyway.

If you're still bending reality, I could use more time.

Can I just have a perfect memory, so I stop forgetting things that are important?

Give me some time to think about it

Make sex just generally not a big deal anymore, like so that we all wake up and it's just like shrug. So people stop thinking about it and by association, don't think about their own attractiveness or value as a person, so people don't try to use sex as a control tool, so people don't twist sex into things it's not, and treat it basically like eating or sleeping, just a nice thing you do sometimes but who cares if you have someone to do it with or not, just live and let live, right?

This one thing would save our entire species and future.