this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 129 points 1 week ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (10 children)

I thought my hand gesture was a chef's kiss for such a confluence of events. Not sure what you're on about.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Wtf. This is hilarious. Why are men so insecure?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

I'm not insecure! YOU'RE INSECURE!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that radical feminist groups have propagated these hidden messages to humiliate men with small penises

Why would radical feminists target men with small penises? They’re probably already naturally humiliated, right? It’s the big dick men who need to be taken down a notch.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The prophecy has been fulfilled

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a sign. The second cumming of Christ.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Thats it, you won the comments section.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Two balls! Wait.. what's that? Over there... It looks like a big...

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Weiner's and beans! Get yer Weiner's and beans! Holy shit kid! over there, that looks just like a...

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Wang! Pay attention!

Sorry teacher, I was distracted by that giant...

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cock your head! Do you see it?!

Oh yeah, it looks like a massive...

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rod, check this out! It looks just like a huge..

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pecker, oh that's not a woodpecker it looks like a huge ...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Johnson! Radio the admiral! This ship's about to be plowed by that enormous-

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"COCKLES!!! OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCK-- say, am i the only one seeing this..."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Penistone is a small town in South Yorkshire, England.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

Even mother nature looked at our present timeline and said "Yeah...fuck it....let's see how crazy shit can get."

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You think that's big, you should see the size of it under the water.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, this is what it looks like when it's cold.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Okay... 2023? How did I miss this? That can't be real. Is it real? Maybe this really is all a simulation. But, like, it's just a game of Sims, and the player started getting bored... It sure would explain a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

THE PROPHECY!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Finally an article that made me believe I was reading the onion

[–] Outsider9042 12 points 1 week ago

Fake news! The entire iceberg does not look like a dick.

It’s just the tip.

😶‍🌫️

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I mean, who names a bay in Dildo county Conception Bay (or vice versa)? The iceberg is just the tip!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This happened two years ago…

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And it still hasn't melted? Checkmate, environmental lobby

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

phallus [...] floating in conception bay

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Most of my family is from very near there. I remember when this happened, it was quite the event

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Someone had an interesting "on this day"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's old, but... I'll allow it.

Also...

Dingdong. Willy. Johnson. One-eyed sailor. Trouser snake.

Now it's your turn.

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