See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

Anyone who spends more on a watch than a car has poor money management. Fuck, what a waste. There's no way any watch is worth more than $1000 other than for clout which is stupid.

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

"that's cute!"

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

"Wow, you're really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!"

You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

Can your watch play Bad Apple?

Can your watch run Doom?

Can you install Arch on that watch?

...

... didn't think so 😛

You paid all that money for a watch that can't do ANY cool stuff? You utter loser 🤣 🤣 🤣

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

"You got ripped off"

Last time I gave a fuck was when I were with your wife

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard

Fool and his money.

"Didn't ask"

What's my motivation? Is there a reason why I'm listening to Alec Baldwin brag about his watch? What's stopping me from simply walking away?

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.