“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

"Didn't ask"

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

"that's cute!"

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.

Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.

I can afford not to have a watch.

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

What is it for?

Fool and his money.

"What's your point?"