Oh nooo, I'll have pass time by...
Read the ingredients on the shampoo bottle!
THE HORROR!!! THE SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE INFUSED HORROR!!!
this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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That's the old school phone, if you were lucky your mom bought some magazines and now you can read about how to best plant your herb garden before spring, it's fall btw
Reader's digest. My parents kept them in the bathroom.
That's why I keep a book by the toilet.
I have one of the old Ripley's Believe It or Not books by mine. It's wild how many things in there that amazed people back in the day aren't really that amazing or unbelievable anymore. The internet has made the world a pretty jaded place.
On average, it takes most mammals, including humans, about 12 seconds to have a bowel movement.
Why tf are you having to pass time?
To pass log
I guess I'm above average!
That's called "raw dogging". Am I using it right?
It goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes
Bought this LP for $30 in 2012. Greatest investment I’ve ever made.
YUH!
GUILLOTINE!
I miss them so much
Nothing worse than being alone with your thoughts.
People who use their phone while on the toilet are disgusting af
Yep, same, agree, I will never understand how this has become normalized.
It's an evolution from when people used to take newspapers or magazines to read while pooping.
We know we need fibre now. If it’s taking you more than 20 seconds to shit you’re gonna die early.
What if I start pooping in 20 seconds and just shit so much it takes 10 minutes to stop?
Relentlessly shitting for ten minutes lol
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Unironically this is a basically true thing as well.
If it routinely takes you so long to shit that you... need to read something?
You have some kind of serious dietary ~~deficiency~~ imbalance, and/or some kind of gastro-intestinal or possibly musculature or even neurological problem going on.
Difference being that you generally throw away a newspaper, whereas the surface of your smart phone is almost certainly the object that most people spend the most or second most time touching during a day, they rarely wash it, and they also carry it with them everywhere.
It is astoundingly unhygenic to use a phone on the shitter.
Oh, you washed your hands afterwards?
... Did you wash the phone screen?
Is it that bad? Just being in the presence of poop? If that’s the case we should change shirts and pants after a poop.
I wipe with the help of my hands but never my phone so it makes sense to wash my hands.
Back in my pocket it goes when I’m done, then I wipe and wash hands.
I also wash the toilet seat, flush handle and taps after using the bathroom. /s
It is that bad, because most people do not continue to finger their assholes when they're not in the bathroom.
...
Touch butt. Touch phone.
Only clean hands?
Touch phone again, you're touching your butt again.
Touch face after touching phone?
You have stuck your finger in your butt and then directly in to your face.
Put phone in pocket?
Yeah, now your pocket has your butt in it.
...
Bacteria adhere to and will keep growing on a phone.
Just think of how clean rules work for a surgeon doing prep.
Now, the danger is not as extreme as contamination isn't going under the skin... but you are consistently touching a dirty, potentislly infectious surface all the time, and then touching everything else.
https://time.com/4908654/cell-phone-bacteria/
...
I cannot believe I need to explain this, but unless you have shit all over your shirt and pants, you do not need to wash them every time you poop.
If you have shitstains on your underwear, yes, you do need to wash them, and generally speaking, you should be changing your underwear more often than other articles of clothing... though if you sweat a lot from your arm pits, change your shirts or under shirts often as well.
Do you use both hands when you shit? I don’t.
”I cannot believe I need to explain this…”
You don’t lol. Chill out. I don’t have shit all over my phone either and I don’t “touch butt touch phone.”
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Usually you put your phone away before wiping. And the real Gs use a bidet / ass squirter thingy anyways.
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I kind of miss the magazine that only gets read in the bathroom.
Hope you got a bottle of Dr. Bronners in there.
Moral ABCs never disappoint.
Why? I am done in five seconds. Must be all the olive oil. Takes longer to wipe…
Nothing is more haunting than the sound of introspection while pooping.
back in my days, i read the label at the back of the shampoo bottle or the descaling cleaning spray
Bathroom Reader made a fortune off of this idea.
People who use their phone on the toilet are gross to me. I put in wireless earbuds and listen to a podcast. Preferably one without ads so I don’t have to touch them until after I’ve washed my hands.
Non-dominant hand has entered the game.
that's why i keep two books in the bathroom. True Facts That Sound Like Bullshit by Shane Carley, and Brief Answers to Big Questions by Stephen Hawking. Perfect for reading ~10-20min at a time
Plan b: Can you still reach the bottle of shampoo?
i love reading random shampoo bottles
It's even worse when I go in prepared. I have young kids who will barge in and take my device while I'm on the throne. Now I've got to start taking in 2 devices so I still have something after losing one.
Just lock the door?
Bathrooms have privacy locks, not security locks. They can be opened from the outside if someone tries, and my kids have little fingers that can open the latch from outside without any additional equipment.
Then add a security lock you can close from the inside.
Hang it at the top of the door so it can't be used by children.
Or just discipline your children to not barge into occupied bathrooms.
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