this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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Enough Musk Spam

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For those that have had enough of the Elon Musk worship online.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

"Ketamine: Negative" lol.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Does this mean that Musk's address is stored on Fastest Lab's servers?

Edit: nvm I found his address

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

These drug tests are as legit as those solar roof panels he was showing

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago

If he has not enough computer skills to fake such a document, he probably has someone who can. Just like has people playing games for him.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

There is an addendum:

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Can we overlook the potential fact that he's not on drugs and focus on him admitting that he acts the way he acts WITHOUT drugs as an excuse?

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago

Oh great, a screenshot posted by the guy known to pay people to pretend to be him being good at games, who has spent the last few years— damn I mean the last few months, trying to see whether he can set the bar higher for destroying net worth or the lives of uncountable people all over the world.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Drugs deserve better than to be associated with elon. I won't let him ruin ketamine for the children.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago

Like when Fox News got their hands on 40,000 hours of January 6 footage, and edited a 2 minute montage of people being not committing mayhem, and then used that carefully edited clip to claim the allegations of violence were liberal lies.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

the shithead smoked pot on a podcast, and he expects people to believe this?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Do you think a person who smoked pot on a podcast is unable to pass a drug screening in the future?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

No, and I didn’t say that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

No, but they aren't drug free either. There is literally evidence for that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I once saw someone try to say he didn’t inhale as a defense for him. What the fuck is wrong with people trying to defend this fucking nazi.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

How can he expect us to believe this when his blood isn't even on the blockchain?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (14 children)

They test for "ecstacy", the street name, not "MDMA" the official name? Where did he get these test results from, his dealer?

Opiates are tested, and oxycodone? But oxycodone is an opiate. Is this list created by chatgpt?

It says it was a urine sample. As if the richest man in the world cannot get a clean urine sample from someone. It's probably from the only kid he gives attention (to block snipers when he's out in the open). That's probably why the kid punched him in the face. Because daddy wanted to touch his pipi.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (9 children)

So I'm familiar with this organization for reasons.

USDTL itself is the real deal. Not a drug testing expert, but it's probable the assay used flags positive for Ecstasy in the presence of either MDMA and/or MDMA metabolites like MDA. Like the guy below you said, it's also common to separate out oxy from opiates - an opiate screen from this lab detects codeine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and morphine. The oxy screen flags positive in the presence of oxycodone and oxymorphone.

None of this is to say it's actually Elon's urine, though - I'd usually give USDTL the benefit of the doubt re: chain of custody, but the guy has too much money and brainwashees to totally rule out this being an unsupervised collection where someone else's pee was swapped in. Send me an uncut video of a hair collection, with the specimen id clearly marked and everything packaged up to forensic standards on camera, and I might have less doubt.

At least in that case, any fuckery after the fact is a great way to lose CAP accreditation.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago

So we’re just supposed to believe that the richest man on earth can’t just make up a form, pay wm employee for clean urine, or just pay off the doctor

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (9 children)

He must really think we are all as dumb as he is.

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[–] [email protected] 150 points 3 days ago (13 children)

Well I for one am perfectly convinced that patient TX45788288 is clean and free of drugs. Of course, I don't really know who that is. Probably isn't Musk though. Even if it is, I'm quite sure that he could easily find someone to piss in a cup for him for a million or so. Hell, I hate the dirt bag and I would have done it for a million bucks.

Also, I would never impute the integrity of Jennifer Taylor of Fastest Labs of South Austin, but I think maybe her boss should check to see if she suddenly jumped into a new tax bracket.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 3 days ago

"Well, Mr. Musk, you're not on drugs but you are pregnant."

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Not to mention that the drugs he's accused of abusing don't usually stay in your system for a long time.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Grok, how long does it take for all the drugs in this report to clear your system?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

I think cannabis is the only one that would take longer than maybe 10-14 days (heavy use of ketamine would take a little longer than the usual few days).

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Lmao, reminds me of this Chinese phrase "此地無銀三百兩" (There are no 300 taels of silver buried here)

It is said to come from a story about a man named Zhang San (張三). According to the story, he buried 300 taels of silver in the ground with the banner “There are no 300 taels of silver (buried) here” so that no one would steal them. But his neighbor Wang Er (王二) saw through the lie and dug up the money, leaving the banner “Your neighbour Wang Er did not steal (the silver)”.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Creatine: normal

weak baby, gotta get GAINS

edit: i can't read

[–] [email protected] 99 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Fun story time: I once got informed of a drug test for a job I'd just accepted after a weekend of hard partying. I was on prescription opiods, Adderall, and ketamine. They called Monday morning at 9 to tell me I had to piss within 4 hours. I hadn't even slept yet. I should have lit that test up like a Christmas tree for everything except thc. It came back clean. They never asked about my prescriptions. I have 2 theories. 1) they don't actually test. 2) if too many things light up, they assume it's a calibration issue.

[–] leftzero 59 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Odds are good it lit up and whoever it was didn't care.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Wow, this guy's on everything and still functions! We could use someone with that stamina. PASS."

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Piss test catches ket for a week. A hair test catches it for a year. Something to think on.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Until i personally test his hair for ketamine I'm not going to be convinced. I used to know a lot of crusties. I know what it looks like when someone's in a k hole.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago

I really don't care, but if we're playing this game, could we get a hair test?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Half of those literally only show up if you're on them when you get the test lol

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 days ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

The richest mothefucker chooses the shadiest black market lab available? Makes sense.

Maybe he just bought some results, and it's not like his chosen substances are visible for long in piss tests anyway

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Where do you think he got the pee?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If the claim is that his obnoxious behaviour is nothing to do with his drug habit, I'm prepared to accept that.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago

"I swear it's not drugs, I am just a giant asshole completely naturally!"

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Most of these drugs are pretty much undetectable after abstaining for a few days. Big deal. Negative cannabis use surprised me a little but he probably left it behind when he picked up his ketamine binge. That said who the hell advertises their test results like this wtf?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Well, as much as I'd love to believe him, I can't. I start immediately asking questions, like, why is every word either all caps or start with a capital letter except for the word "negative"? Could be the way that lab does it, but almost nowhere else seems to.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago (7 children)

How did this dud ever get mistaken for a genius?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

... People constantly say he's on drugs. This is such a dumb post lol

Also yes he's on drugs that report is clearly bs

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It'd be better if it showed positive. At least there might be a reason for him being such a shitty person, now there isn't...he's just a shitty person with no excuse.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

It's obviously impossible that could be faked. I mean an image of a text document? There's no way!

Mere emojis are insufficient to convey how much I'm rolling my eyes.

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