this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

Come on Jerry, you know I’ve always wanted to pretend to be a Marine Biologist!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Serenity now!!!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

The jerk store called.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This would never work in the US. The ambulance bill would be 5x higher than the restaurant bill.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Must be one expensive meal to be 1/20th the cost of an American ambulance.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

$50 vs $1000, rough approximations

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My last ambulance ride was $3,400. After insurance I was still on the hook for 1,700 iirc

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Jesus Christ and y'all still live in the US??

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

The exact ratio depends entirely on the your personal limit for when you see a bill and say "Yup, definitely heart attack worthy"

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 years ago (2 children)

After the 15th time people started getting suspicious

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

“It’s heart attack guy. He wants his usual.”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Triple bacon cheeseburger with onion rings?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 years ago

Seafood paella and two whiskeys for only $36.80 USD? I'm fucking moving to Spain

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wish I was that extroverted. I mean that's 19 free meals and a nickname, what else do you want?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I dub thee "Nicky Desire" after your intense desire for a nickname.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What does this have to do with introversion vs extroversion? It seems completely unrelated.

One could easily be an introvert and be an asshole and take advantage of people this way.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago

“And what is the charge? Having a heart attack? A succulent Chinese heart attack?”

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

"You people are sick, this man is dying!"

-some regular looking guy with a large jaw

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

Restaurants hate this one weird trick.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago

….I thought shit like this only happened in sitcoms.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

This guy having a real heart attack in a restaurant some time in the future.

“Oh no, just ignore Aidas. He is such a joker. Now would you like the lamb or the fish tonight?”

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

“Choke” - by Chuck Palahniuk

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I came here to say that.

The first Palahniuk book I read, before I learn he wrote Fight Club

Lullaby and Survivor came next.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

pearl diving

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

All the buffs in the world won’t help if you roll a critical failure.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I see that you know your judo well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wouldn’t you be paying more in ambulance bills?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

It's in Europe

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

This sounds like a Michael Scott bit in The Office.... I'm pretty sure something like that actually happened in The Office.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

But were they big corporate restaurants? Because that's victimless.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

He's going to fake a stroke to get out of the trial

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The restaurateurs said the man doesn't speak Spanish well, although he does seem to understand it, El País reported.

lol, what

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I understand some languages way better than I speak/write them. What's funny about that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nothing, it's just a detail that is sort of thrown in there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

His accent isn't great.