this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
313 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 156 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This probably isn’t true, but like if it is, you shouldn’t have to be told to not let your dog fuck your ass. Your Dad is reacting exactly how any sane person would in that situation.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago

"Violence is isually the answer."

  • Roadhog
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[–] [email protected] 137 points 2 months ago

Hey, I just wanted you to know that I didn't like your post.

[–] [email protected] 100 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Anon screwed the pooch and is now in the doghouse.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Honestly I've never actually slowed down to truly parse the phrase "screw the pooch". Well, now I have, and also fuck you because I used to be innocent 😭

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Holy shit. I thought I was being witty using that idiom instead of screwed the pooch. TIL it's already a thing, moreover the origin story of screwed the pooch.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Dog gone it!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I hate you.

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So George Carlin voiced the conductor in the US. Someone mixed in his standup with the show, and it's pretty great.

https://youtu.be/ov4RwjQGye0?si=PeSK7RYstqqq0d43

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought it was Ringo Starr?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Weird, I only recall seeing one version in the states. Or at least on PBS.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Not sure about it specifically, but when I was a child in England it was a british man, and when we moved back to the states it was a person with a NA accent. I later learned those to be Ringo and Carlin. Don't know about timelines, or release differences, or anything like that though.

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago

Once again an abominable greentext could have been avoided if anon would just have a damn shower!

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

i liek choccy milk

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anon became a white woman.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i don’t know what this means, but i hate you for writing it

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

You'll hate me too for explaining it, there's a running stereotype that white women fuck their dogs.

I didn't make it up and I don't spread such stereotypes, but that's what they meant by their above comment.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

well that’s just stupid and racist.
but i appreciate the explanation and don’t hate you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm inclined to agree on that lol. No problem, and I'm glad we can continue a state of hatelessness between us!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

my new year’s resolution is that you and i maintain our mutual lack of hatred for each other.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Does engaging and explaining such stereotypes count as spreading them?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don’t spread such stereotypes

I've got some bad news for you...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh you know what I mean lmao.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not really. I don't know what effect you thought posting the stereotype online in public was going to have other than to spread it. This is exactly and precisely what spreading it looks like, surely?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You must be great at keeping secrets too!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

This is my first time hearing about that. Many people are extremely stupid, so it makes sense some notion like that would be idiotic racist bullshit that various losers would believe.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago

"be moaning like an anime girl" fucking lost it

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

too tired to move

Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit. WTF anon?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

I should have just scrolled away

1000014574

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Red Rover
Red Rover
Peanut butter trick
for Ben Dover

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Well, fuck. Not just squick, but full-on nightmare fuel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Funniest shit I've read today X'D

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