Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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You can it's just unlikely you'd win
What's just a little smaller than a goose? I do know my limitations.
I would seriously consider some of the larger animals discussed here, if necessary, in self defense.
But not a goose. A goose comes at me, and I'm going to flee. Those suckers mean business.
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A kangaroo would fking shred you. And while you're trying to hold your intestines in it'll then beat the snot out.
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Anything larger than a small insect already freaks me out, so I'm going to pass on this challenge :)
A really, really, really sick elephant, so far gone that it cannot move anyway
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How about an adolescent kangaroo?
I reckon a full grown kangaroo. Not that I think I'm stronger (or that it wouldn't fuck me up), but in a fight to the death I think I could outsmart it and outmaneouver it.
I do not think this is close to a 100% certainty though.
Those fuckers can move.
Ya I think you could get behind it and maybe do a headlock. Maybe?
SWEEP THE LEG!
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Do my hands have to stay bare?
Like, if there's a stick around, can I pick up the stick? If there are rocks around, can I throw some rocks?
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By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).
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A fat orange cat 🐈❤️
Cat bites can have some dangerous bacteria at least, considering how much damage the more lazy of my cats can do if you try to force him to take a pill, I don't think I'd really want to fight one that actually was fighting for all it's worth
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Depends. Do I need to win or is a draw an acceptable outcome? If it's the latter, the blue whale. What's it gonna do, beach itself?