Fitness

Regarding your worry about looking silly, I get you. I like to think the gym is one of the less judgemental places (and in my experience, it is), but you find assholes everywhere in life, so it would be a lie to say you'll never encounter them. What helps for me, and maybe it'll help you too, is confidence in knowing you're doing the right thing. What is the right thing? No, it's not doing the exercise with the correct form, or doing the correct rep scheme or pushing with the correct intensity. None of that. The right thing is showing up and actively working on improving yourself. That means taking the time to experiment and eventually figure out how to do things right. It means not letting perfect be the enemy of good.

If you're looking for resources to learn the big 3 lifts, I highly recommend the articles on strongerbyscience. Here's their deadlift article.

And as others have said, don't be shy to ask others for guidance. I've had my share of asking for form checks and of being asked for form checks. The gym is the kind of place where everyone generally likes to help each other out.

I'd recommend filming yourself (find something to put your phone up against if you don't want to talk to people) and comparing to videos of proper form. Or post somewhere, e.g. here, and let people see whether the form is proper or not.

I happened to have a friend that is into lifting, but also my work has an on-site gym with a dedicated fitness instructor. But had those circumstances not been available, I would have considered hiring a personal trainer for a few sessions. Another option is to see what your local city might offer in terms of continuing education, since that often also includes time with a fitness expert.

That said, while it's true that a video won't properly describe the full motion for an exercise, it should be the case that watching a video should avoid all the major pitfalls that might cause injury. If there's a risk that you'll injure yourself, it might be because you're trying too much weight too early.

If needed, you can even try an exercise with little or no weight, to make sure your form is dialed in. Also, do not underestimate the utility of setting up a camera on a tripod to record your form. It's something which is fairly easy to do, and more people can quickly review a video and give tips, even online.

I followed some classes at the gym where you were doing some basic lifts with small weights. It was not a true strength class, but they helped with form and practising form with lighter weights before starting heavy lifts helped a lot. So you can check if there is anything like that at your gym. And don't be bothered by the usual demographic of those classes, I found they were super accepting of everyone.

This is the main job of a personal trainer, they will guide and observe you and determine where you are at, where you want to be, and what works for you to get there. If the gym you go to doesn't have personal trainers on staff or on file, other gym goers might be able to recommend one in the area or that knows this gym.

No matter what you find works for you, I recommend building muscle memory with light weights. Don’t go hard immediately and expect great form. Figure out the motion and get used to it with lighter weights. That, and don’t worry what others think as you figure it out! I’ve seen the buffest people do the weirdest shit with bad form…nobody cares! People stare cause there’s nothing else to do or look at. Asking for help to a nice person one day is a good idea too. I can empathize, gyms can be intimidating. Good luck! It sounds to me like you know what to do deep down

Get a personal trainer, that's the best thing to do when you start working out. It's easy to hurt yourself if you don't know what you're doing. If a trainer is not available, talk to experienced gym bros. They're usually friendly and open to show you the basics.

Also there are gym apps where you can pick the machines available in your gym and they'll build a routine for you. They usually have videos or guides on how to do the exercise properly.

seriously, find a few people that seem to be doing quality work (minimal grunting, smooth movements, reasonable weight, using clips/collars on bars, not rounding the lower back on a deadlft, etc) and ask. I promise you lots of people will be more than happy to help you with form - and throw in tons of extra tips as well.

everyone had to learn and, in most gyms, there is an unspoken agreement to help - from spotting you to giving advice. just keep in mind that the "brovice" quality can vary so internally critique everything you are told.

regarding the no one cares bit... when I see someone possibly about hurt themselves because of inexperience, I gently suggest other options. I have seen nasty stuff happen :-(

I've never lasted at gyms for more than three months, always got fit surfing and climbing. But that said, plenty of friends do. All of them have paid for a trainer for a few sessions. It was mainly for form, ensuring routines are organised properly, and they're not overdoing or undergoing any exercises.

I did a boot camp at a crossfit gym that was obsessive about calling out bad form.