this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025
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I wouldn't let him eat dog food πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My parents tried to stop me from eating dog food, but I figured out that they couldn't stop me if I grabbed some when they weren't watching. It has a very... distinctive flavor that I still remember 40 years later.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Oh man and that was before all of the now-famous β€œquality ingredients β€œ too. 🀒

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

My dog cries for the same reason.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Let them eat dog food

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

I suggested she go potty before bedtime.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I do benefit from reading these accounts. Helps ground me. My kid sometimes makes me feel like he's completely unglued, an assiduous non-participant in consensus reality. "Mayonnaise is spicy," or he will calmly inform me that "my favourite green thing is nobody because nobody is green". Doesn't remember anything about anything, totally time blind, filled with chaotic impulses that leave him perennially scraped and bruised.

And yet on the sliding scale of kids in general, he's basically lucid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Mayonnaise is spicy

I diagnose your child with white.

Also if it's real mayo, he might be referring to the slight acidity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

He was three at the time, it was a vocab issue. Still funny years later.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I turned on the "wrong water" in the shower. (?)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Oh if you haven’t had the pleasure yet, wait until you get the meltdown to end all meltdowns when you make their lunch wrong (I.e., you used the wrong knife or some shit). 🀣

Jokes aside (I’m not really joking), you’re doing great! You should get into the habit of never apologizing for keeping your kid alive. In fact, the more they object, the more you’re succeeding.

(Frankly I’m amazed we’ve survived as a species for so long.)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why not? Dog food is edible for humans but doesn't taste good. Lesson learned?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thats what i thought too. So i let my boy get some fresh cat food before the cats ate and guess what? Its not as bad tasting as i thoughts as he still tries to eat it all the time. On the other hand he frequently still munches on some sand from time to time so why would i expect anything else?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Hahaha well

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

I've heard people on a fixed income will eat cat food if they fall behind on expenses and can't afford human food.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

Thats right, its edible. But how do i tell my toddler to only eat fresh cat food and not the leftovers of the cats straight out of their bowl that were laying around all morning? And i need you to tell the cats that they will need to share from now on. I certainly wont be that brave.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Best one is not knowing in advance which of the five identical bowls is "his" one.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Do not, under any circumstances, break the banana.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I put too much ketchup on their plate.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Mine asked for something but was soo convinced I would say no that they just assumed that was what my response was....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

they want to explore everything. we let them explore the appropriate things, and then, there is nothing left to explore expect inappropriate things.

[–] RamblingPanda 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A friend's son cried because his father didn't let him taste something spicy. Some seconds later he cried because he now knew what spicy meant. It wasn't "hot ones"-hot and the milk was ready.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

just let them. teach them the lesson directly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

You forgot to post on kidsarefuckingstupid