this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
1109 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

16768 readers
1495 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 244 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Holy shit if these people get anymore cult like they're going to move to South America and kill themselves.

[–] [email protected] 133 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dont threaten me with a good time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago

Man, we should be so lucky.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 181 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like the kinda guy you want in charge of all of America's sensitive information.

The important thing is that he's not batshit insane.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You can tell because of the way that he is.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 169 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 88 points 2 months ago

Even his AI generated kids hate him

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 126 points 2 months ago (9 children)

I'm not going to have a lot of sympathy for anyone who lets that guy put his dick in them.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Well apparently he doesn't do that, news outlets are saying that all of his kids are from ivf.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 77 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Since Leon and Zuck killed factchecking, there is nothing stopping me from believing this.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If he denies it I think he should just show us dick. SHOW US YOUR FREAK DICK ELON

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 106 points 2 months ago (4 children)

The report said Musk sent Fong a direct message asking if she wanted to have his baby — despite never having met her in person. Fong confided in friends about the advance, and once Musk found out, he unfollowed her, and her X earnings reportedly nosedived. At the peak of Musk’s engagement with her posting, she apparently raked in $21,000 over a two-week stretch on his platform.

That's kind of messed up

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How do you make $21,000 on twitter?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Premium Xitter subscriptions and Elon artificially inflating your numbers.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 103 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Hi, I’m Leon! But you can call me the neo-nazi kid :D

I’m a proud white guy from South Africa (14 y/o in spirit).

I’m currently trying to fuck up the world and spread my genes hoping to be the new Hitler some day!

Do you want to have my kid? Haha just kidding. Unless…

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 100 points 2 months ago (11 children)

So this guy has time to be CEO of twitter, spacex, xai, starlink, tesla, boring company, head of DOGE and still has time to try to hook up with thousands of girls online? Something tells me CEOs are pretty useless if you can be running that many companies each week.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Yeah it's more hilarious: he's not hooking up with anyone, this is pure turkey baster going on.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget he also doubled down on being in the top10 of PoE2 (which is ruled by nolife players that play 16 hours a day) yet he had the time to do that, I can't understand why anyone would ever trust a word coming out of his mouth ever. Pathological liar with a massive ego, hopefully the target of the next Luigi

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (1 children)

dear saint luigi: please please please end musk. and as many of his acolytes as possible.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago

But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “Those who are without a billion among you, let them be the first to lay the basket and fasten the frame for the blade.”

[–] [email protected] 82 points 2 months ago (18 children)

Elon needs to die for the good of the human race

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago

He and Trump. The world would be a much better place.

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It must be said again.

There are no good billionaires. Every one of them is doing stupid shit like this while people starve to death, in public or in secret.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (4 children)

This is giving The Office "I want to have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend." energy

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A legion of children that hate him👍

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He doesn't give a shit, them loving him isn't his goal

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well now I'm starting to think that 4chan account might actually be his, how fun!

A Nazi who thinks he's the Antichrist. What a fuckin world

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Who "Christians" put in power, fucking delicious irony, what a bunch of ignorant, hateful assholes.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This… might just be the craziest thing I’ve read since the election

Someone should totally try to catfish him, though. Sounds like it wouldn’t be all that challenging

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

https://archive.md/DNH8o

I put it on archive.md for anybody that couldn't see past the paywall like myself. (Sorry for the hijack but I wanted to see it quickly.) I'm not sure how everyone else is managing to read it for free tho.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (41 children)

Declining population, my ass. There were less than 4.5 billion people on the planet when I was born. That fash-hole is only worried that white people will represent a minority of the future population. Nothing more.

load more comments (41 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (13 children)

As if his sorry assed genetic material should be passed on. Why do all nazis assume they're the "superior race"?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

Because being white is the biggest accomplishment of their life

That's not a compliment

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is it weird to anyone else that he just assumes his "legion" of children will follow him unquestioningly?

My dad keeps giving me stock "tips" (my stepsister works at a gold mine and he keeps telling me their stock'll go up any day now despite the mine not being in operation yet 🙄) and I haven't even followed through on that.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago

What did I just read why does this dude exist

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago

If ever a man needed to be stripped of his power and influence

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They way he treats his kids, he is building a legion to hunt him down

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I find it weird that he can be like that and still be alive. Does he bring security to absolutely everywhere he is?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (7 children)

what's with billionaires and wanting to have so many bloody babies

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Weird Nazi cult pseudoscience based on the science of natural selection - they actually think they are superior and have superior genes therefore it's in the best of the species that their "superior" genes propagate as widely as possible.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hopefully they all end up like his daughter.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›