Joke aside, it'll only work implying that they have to use the same computer. Anyone tech savvy enough will know that it's trivial to put an unencrypted drive in another machine and read it.
this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Absolutely perfect. I was traveling with a friend and we decided to watch a movie I had on my hard drive. Once I booted into i3 and I had to use a couple key chords to navigate, they said, "Your computer gives me anxiety." π
Same person almost shit their pants when I replaced youtu.be with yewtu.be in a URL to get a region locked video to play. I am a bonafide hacker in their eyes.
My idiot brother, who fancies himself a tech guru... because he reads the ~~news~~ marketing around the tech specs of new console releases every couple of years...
Legitimately thought I was hacking into our own ISP when I opened a terminal infront of him to configure a VPN setting that didn't yet have an option to do so in the GUI.
Lile he tried to have an 'intervention' with me over it.
For ... running a few commands to check my existing and active network interfaces, then glancing at a webpage and starting the vpn process with an extra flag or two.
I was completely unable to convince him that I hadn't done anything even remotely close to like pen-testing the local DNS server... which is what he... seemed? to think I was doing?
Gotta love incredibly overconfident + incompetent people.
...
I have also had people at cellphone shops either get angry at me for mentioning outloud, or try to hide the fact that you can plug a phone with a broken screen into a usb hub, and then their own keyboard, monitor and mouse, in certain situations, and be able to log in to the phone to do inane parts of their recovery or migration processes ... when your screen is borked, but the phone itself is still functional.
I had employee guy laugh at the notion this would work, another guy say sure you can try it, and then got angry that it worked, and another act like I was performing some kind of dark magic that the other customers in the store could not be allowed to know about.
...
EDIT: Oh I forgot to mention the abominable absurdity of my brother trying to give me an 'intervention' over anything, at all, ever.
See, while I was ~~studying the blade~~ getting two simultaneous bachelors degrees from the best Uni in the state, he was going to raves, giving himself serotonin shock syndrome, all while functionally being homeless.
Multiple times in my life I have had to drop everything I was doing and prevent him from carrying out a very credible suicide threat, or save him from ODing.
Myself on the other hand, ... uh, no nothing like that, and I'd not even given him an 'intervention' after saving him from an OD or two.
Anyway, I'm fairly sure I could drive him back to drug use if I somehow forced him to learn how some of the R code I used and wrote for statistical analysis actually works, or the same for any of the insane spider webs of 200, 300 line custom, one-off SQL queries I often had to write in various data analyst positions before they let me restructure their DBs a bit into something less insane.
His "intervention" reminded me of this old sketch. Thought you might appreciate!
You know, I hadn't seen that sketch before...
... but another thing that my idiot brother did, which was actually the final straw between me and my entire family:
My doctors, over the year prior, with me seeing them fairly frequently, running a good deal of blood work tests on me ... well they decided to change up my medication somewhat, take me off of one drug, replace it with another...
... because that drug they were taking me off of was causing me to ... not quite develop actual diabetes, but develop many signs of pre-diabetes... and they had figured out a way to switch me over to a set of drugs where that would not be a problem.
My brother interpreted this as me making up all of what I just said whole cloth, as if i was delusional and insane, despite me literally showing him the blood test results, annotated by the metabolic expert, and the new medication plan from other doctors.
So we got into an argument, the next day my entire immediate family has decided that I need to be institutionalized, in a mental asylum in the middle of fucking nowhere, fuck my career I guess? I was making almost twice as much as my brother and probably more than my dad at the time.
I just moved out while my brother was at work, never looked back.
Damn, seems I unlocked a core memory. Condolences. Thanks for sharing though! Quite the story...
Ah, this one was fairly recent, and I have more recently been diagnosed with (C)PTSD from... how often insane shit like that has happened to me.
But, typing it out is... better than just stuffing it down... 6 months ago, typing out a similar story would have filled me with rage, all muscles clenching... this time I only grity teeth once.
Progress.
... I appreciate the condolences though.
... Spent a long, long time being gaslit, its ... helpful for me to type it out, and not be blamed for it.
Yeesh. I relate fully to the brother part. Mine also likes to pretend, but at least isn't that oblivious about the terminal. Intervention, though?! LMAO
"Friends don't let friends Gentoo", or something
He has an extremely thin skin, a massive inferiority complex, somehow has worse social skills than myself, despite me being autistic and him not... I could go on, but I already added more in an edit to my above post.
So anyway I went no contact with my entire dysfunctional family (they're all this magnitude of nuts but in their own special ways) years ago rofl, my mental health has never been better.
I was installing Alpine Linux on a Raspberry Pi 5 and was using the kitchen TV as a temporary monitor. My parents thought I was sending encrypted messages. I was just updating the repository list to find the quickest mirror.
It's funny to me how some people see text scrolling by on a screen and immediately think witchcraft.
I used to do something similar when I was working in embedded systems, specifically because my superiors had no idea. I would just put our OS up to compile on repeat so one if my machines was always spitting out nonsense (but vaguely related to work).
"Sorry boss, just waiting on the new build to finish up so I can start on that."
Used to keep a terminal sesh up that was just scrolling top on the dev server whenever I felt like being lazy while looking productive. Took my very tech savvy boss a couple months before he finally noticed.
I'm pretty sure the VP of engineering knew what I was up to, but I think he also understood that I didn't get paid enough to be as neurotic as he was and I generally got stuff done ahead of schedule any way.
Hollywood fucked over everyone
Ok, so I happen to be the paragon of security through obscurity.
- Linux
- Sway
- Dvorak layout
- Mechanical keyboard cΜ blank keycaps
Come at me bruh
Linux+i3+emacs+dvorak+querty_mech_kbd
damn it. I am "one of those dudes"
The last 2 can be mitigated by just plugging in a different keyboard, the second one by just pulling the drive, the first doesn't really need mitigation, but nothing a $5 wrench won't solve.
gets hit with wrench
cums "h-harder daddy~"
"well shit, now wtf do we do?"
"if you don't give the password I'm gonna stop" π€·ββοΈ
"B-but I'm into orgasm denial too" π₯Ί
After that point, you don't want to know what is in the laptop anyway
But, that's also when morbid curiosity kicks in~
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Apparently I am too...
- Linux (NixOS BTW)
- Also Sway
- Colemak
- Mechanical keyboard, but the key caps are still QWERTY.
I used my own modified colemak layout for some time.
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Only encrypt your sensitive data.
Bonus points: use non-qwerty keyboard for added obfuscation (but keep the qwerty key caps of course).
As I'm French, I do the contrary: international QWERTY layout on AZERTY physical keyboard. I want to switch to an ergonomic layout like ergo-l though, but it's hard to learn.
Riverwm for the win
The computing equivalent of a stick shift.
Wouldn't that be something that makes you manually tile your windows? Or are you making fun of i3 for not properly placing tiling windows to split the active one in half along the longer side?
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dwm suckless zen gentoo gigatron trilonaire elonmusknuker arm for the win
I love this. I just wish we could use a different meme format, I am tired of seeing that dudes face.
This is like me when I try to use my wife's iPhone. Where are the buttons? How do I exit the app?
try finger but edge
(my android phones don't have buttons and haven't for years)
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multi step authentication flows that are customizable for each user would be kinda cool if that doesn't exist already.
not too crazy like two factor authentication, just patterns or puzzles to arrange in different ways.
so every time someone tries to access an account, the authentication process is different every time
It opens up a page of my handwriting and it must be translated in order to unlock the computer. Even the most powerful linguist in the world couldn't crack it.
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