this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Hmmm, which one? I'm going to paddle around in my kāy-nō?, or The lava from that vol-ka-ˈnew might cover the village!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I think there's a joke about vul-canoes and vulverines in here somewhere that result in canoes with claws. I just can't quite find it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"vulverines" sounds more like genitals with claws.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

And from vulvarines, we can get to vulvamarine, where there has to be some kind of cunnilingus joke.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Or clawing genitals

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Give it a few hours, someone's bound to come up with it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Why not both?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not doing research here while being an internet expert. But more people are killed every year in canoe-related incidents than volcano related incidents.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Mildly related fact: More people die of drowning every year than have ever died from nuclear incidents including Nagasaki and Hiroshima

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

As a man of history would not use the term incident to describe those wartime actions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Technically, cancer caused by cosmic rays is also a nuclear incident.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

Bing helped me put together the mental image I got from this post.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Where do douche-canoes fit in on the danger spectrum?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well that's French for shower canoes

And everyone knows not to mess with the French, lest they hit you with their baguettes

Ergo super dangerous

QED

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

I'm drunk btw

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But which one will we be mispronouncing?

Canoes = kay-noes?

Volcanoes = vahl cuh noos?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

TIL canoes isn't pronounced kay-noes like volcanoes... English why do you keep bamboozling me 😩

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Because English isn't a language, it's a goon in a trench-coat that lures other languages into dark alleys and beats them down to steal spare grammar.

Canoe comes from Caribbean indigenous words through Spanish and Volcano comes from ancient Latin and Roman religion.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And are vol-canoes flying canoes?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

Well the old West Norse 'völlr' means field, so "vol-canoe" would roughly be field-canoe, or land-boat...

So maybe a tractor?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

You're thinking of flyaks, or possibly skyaks.