this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Saneless@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

My favorite, since I'm not a programmer anymore, is excel

E: Your formula has a circular reference. I ain't doing shit till you fix it

Me: where?

E: In your spreadsheet, I don't fucking know

[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Excel: taking ages to load a file

Excel: There is a link to another Excel document, but I can't access it to update the value.

Me: Where?

Excel: To this document.

Me: ... Where can I find the cell that contains this link?

Excel: I don't know noises

Me: What if it is a named variable?

Excel: Yes.

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one -1 points 2 years ago

It’s ok, you run the expression debugger, which says the first step, which is all of the formula, will result in an error. So helpful.

[–] manpacket@lemmyrs.org 7 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Then there's Haskell that would remove (well, used to at some point) your source code file if you made any errors: https://gitlab.haskell.org/ghc/ghc/-/issues/163

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 years ago

The world's angriest compiler.

[–] TheCee@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] palitu@lemmy.perthchat.org 0 points 2 years ago

Vigil deleted a function. Won't that cause the functions that call it to fail?

It would seem that those functions appear to be corrupted as well. Run Vigil again and it will take care of that for you. Several invocations may be required to fully excise all bugs from your code.

Yeah. this bit got me

[–] xoggy@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

When the compiler is being more helpful than you realize.

[–] FreeloadingSponger@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

MySQL: you have an error near here.

Me: What's the error?

MySQL: It's near here.

Me: You're not going to tell me what the error is? Okay, near where? Here?

MySQL: warmer... warmer...

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Oracle: You have this error in line 1

User: Hey, no, there isn't anything to cause this error in line 1

Oracle: I'm telling you, it's in line 1

User: Hum... How many lines are in my 10 lines query?

Oracle: 1

[–] christophski@feddit.uk 1 points 2 years ago

MySQL: you have an error around here

Me: that's the entire query. If you aren't going to tell me what the error is, can you at least narrow it down?

MySQL: ... Stfu

[–] cabbage@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sounds like Rust propaganda to me >:(

[–] JakeHimself@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Tbf, you have to be pretty far with Rust to get to a point where Rust's compiler errors stop helping you (at least, as far as I've seen). After that, it's pretty much the same

[–] philm@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago

Yep use a little bit more deeply cascaded generic rust code with a lot of fancy trait-bounds and error messages will explode and be similar as C++ (though to be fair they are still likely way more helpful than C++ template based error messages). Really hope that the compiler/error devs will improve in this area

[–] ExperimentalGuy@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

One of the reasons i started learning rust was bc of how easy it is to get into it, or at least that's how it felt for me. It wasn't until a few months into consistently writing that I started to encounter things that I didn't understand.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

The good thing about Rust is that if you have no idea of any problem in your code, it very likely because your code is ok.

On C++ things are different.

[–] glad_cat@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Rust is nice, unless you have a traits compilation error from a 3rd party library using types that are more difficult to write than C++ templates.

[–] philm@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

yeah as nice as it is what you can achieve with trait-bounds there are definitely trade-offs, being compile time and error messages, and sometimes mental complexity, understanding what the trait-bounds exactly mean... I really hope, that this area gets improvement on at least the error-messages and compile time (incremental cached type-checking via something like salsa)

[–] Flipper@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I much prefer getting told of that it doesn't match a trait than get 600 characters of which the majority is implementation detail of global allocators und from what exactly the string is derived.

[–] philm@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

Depends on what trait bound error messages you have had yet, I had 1000 lines long already, where it's not obvious at all what is meant (and is often a very simple fix). But I'm sure this will get better over time, there's already a bigger ongoing redesign of the type system solver, so maybe it will be integrated into stable rust soon.

[–] UFODivebomb@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Way too short to be a real C++ error. Needs a few more pages of template gibberish.

[–] mormegil@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Syntax error: unmatched thing in thing from std::nonstd::__map<_Cyrillic, _$$$dollars>const basic_string< epic_mystery,mongoose_traits, __default_alloc_>

(from James Mickens' The Night Watch, highly recommended with his other essays: https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/wisdom-james-mickens)

[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 0 points 2 years ago

Template>, Outer>>>::static_wrapper, spirit::parser::lever>::fuck_you

[–] bad_alloc@feddit.de 1 points 2 years ago

LISP be like: "There is an error here in this wierd code I just generated and which you never saw before. Wanna hotfix it and try again?"

[–] ihavenopeopleskills@kbin.social 0 points 2 years ago (3 children)

C just shrugs and says "Seg Fault."

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 2 years ago

Have you tried segmenting in a non-faulty way?

[–] frostwhitewolf@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Probably forgot a semicolon

[–] Hexarei@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

This joke is never funny; Forgetting a semicolon in c results in compile time errors, not runtime errors

[–] ExperimentalGuy@programming.dev 0 points 2 years ago

The range those words induce is crazy

[–] snor10@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, but which one i cooler?

[–] corm@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 years ago

Rust because having a package manager is important.

Even C has a package manager