this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] [email protected] 190 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Those videos they did 16 years ago were some of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is easily my favorite video ever, made by the Onion.

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MGXSPf9b-xI

Her "uuuugh sigh" is so good

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

My personal fav was "Congressman makes preemptive apology for extramarital affair"

https://youtu.be/jNX518hfghU

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The stupid fucking piece of shit that doesn’t do what it god damn well should video cracks me up every time

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

That content was truly peak satire. I remember automatically downloading each episode onto my iPod Video to watch them. Good times

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

The marijuana one was my favorite since it randomly played one of about a dozen videos when you played the video.

So if you played it twice, it was a different video. If you shared it with a friend, a different video.

The general story told in each video was the same, some only having minor changes and others being completely unhinged.

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 1 year ago

Whether this is satire, or the "give us $1 or else" article is, or they're both dead serious... this is peak Onion.

In an age where reality is such bullshit that real life articles sound more like The Onion than The Onion, it is exactly what we need. I embrace our new deeply layered pungent overlords.

[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope this goes as well as it's being marketed to be, but I've long since stopped trusting people who have enough money to make a news-worthy purchase. Time will tell on this one for me.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

this was my first tought. the discourse is also the same every time: oh we wont change anything about it! proceeds to change everything about it for the worse

[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

I am $1 poorer

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Is that for real or has the takeover made that unnecessary? Can't tell anymore is they're serious

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anymore? The onion is, and always has been, dead serious.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even the jokes.

Especially the jokes.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

“Me? A subversive political agent? No I am just a simple tailor as you can see, look around my shop and all you will find are handmade jokes created by the best craftsman in the Alpha Quadrant”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Jokes you say hmm?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Already, our trained technicians are navigating through the website and deleting every instance of the letter “T.” Soon, they will move onto the letter “E.”

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Haha, guess I could have read it a bit closer

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yah I would hink so

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bu he onion news nework needs he leer E!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Oh no! Wha will w do wihout and ?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That seems to be their article announcing the takeover, if so, that's a pretty great way to prove they have the same sense of humour and intentions.

Also, looking forward to new episodes of onion news network. Hope they can get some of the original staff back too, the "morning show" hosts were awesome.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not sure If this is more satire by the onion or not

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

The name Global Tetrahedron is, in true Onion fashion, a winking reference to a sinister fictional company featured in the book “Our Dumb Century,” which was written by The Onion’s staff and published in 1999.

I love that book. I often think about the article from 2000 about all the world's corporations merging into OmniCorps and how close that is to becoming a reality.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago

The onion should be a worker's collective given that the best satire comes from groups without ulterior motives and outside influences. No reason it should be possible for any company to lay off a majority of its workforce without fully going under and becoming a failed business.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago

They really salvaged a legacy in the age of enshitification, that's already legendary.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago

Hope that's not an onion article

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

Thank god! Their recent low budget, low effort short form videos have not been good

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Journalist formally of the daily beat and later NBC. NBC apparently pulled him from covering Twitter last year after he said something about about Elon on his personal social media accounts.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, he's going to have a hard time coming up with satirical roasts about Musk that won't be overtaken by reality the next day.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've said for years that the onion should periodically publish real articles just to fuck with people, and ever since Mango Mussolini it wouldn't even need to change much to do so.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Isn't the Onion the one that reposts the school shooting article with only the date changed everytime a shooting happens in the states? To my knowledge its a real news article

Edit: Found it, it seems though the last time they updated it was in 2022, but its basically a non satire response to the fact that absolutely nothing is being done to deal with the state's problem with mass shootings

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

What do you mean, nothing is being done? They're giving more people guns! Surely that will solve the problem!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

2024 is going to be simultaneously the best and worst year of all time

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

If they have a bunch of articles completely dragging this new CEO I will pay for a subscription.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

He was my favorite. I still think about him every so often.

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