A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I was listening to a podcast and the host just factually read out the things Trump has been convicted for and has been found to have done throughout the years. It's insane! Enough shitbaggery to take down an 18th century European monarch, but Trump somehow just gets a pass on all of it, wtf?! Has this guy made a pact with Satan or what?
He stole money from cancer kids!! How does anyone politically survive that??
He survived because America is the country of incarceration and heavy punishment, and he recieved none of that. Therefore what he has done was apparently not that bad.
I'd argue that this is an example of 2 tier justice a d should make people mad as hell, but here we are.
It's been a long game to get to this point, but the conservatives I know are completely isolated from reality at this point. They ONLY watch X and newsmax...Fox is too liberal for them these days.
All that douchbaggery has been scrubbed away in a very effective and sophisticated social engineering campaign over the last decade or so.
The cult leader can do no wrong.
...so it's a good thing my grandparents only watch Fox News and haven't moved into further bullshit? What a fun world to be living in now.
Conservatives all are about exceptionalism
Has this guy made a pact with Satan or what?
Well, we have a pandemic and 2 growing wars, so if a major famine occurs next, definitely a maybe
Propaganda and dumb people listening to only what dumb media has to say.
Oh I have my own independent sources
This is exactly why people are trying to kill him. If the system refuses to incapacitate him, the people will find a way.
The people who have tried so far seem to be right wingers more interested in making a name for themselves than any ideological motive.
Those of us who already have dancing shoes for whenever his arteries finally finish the job aren't exactly looking forward to making him a martyr for President Vance to use either.
...with Russian cash and idiots that believe in him.
Honey, the preschool called... Dylan grabbed his first pussy! Anyway we have to find a new preschool. Fucking libs!
Dude.....
Yeah, Reductress is a feminist spin on The Onion and they are not pulling punches.
A lot of Boy moms out there found this similarly reassuring. “My son sucks, and I was worried his inherently entitled personality and lack of boundaries would really hurt his life trajectory,” said Tyler’s mom, Jeanne McArthur. “Nice to know nothing can hold him back!”
They came after Boy moms and killed it. I'm in love with them now.
I'm a dude but holy crap Reductress is hilarious. Bookmarked.
They sat on their hands for 108 days, and now they're coming out swinging.
Yes, Reductress is the reason Trump won. Brilliant observation. Now run along, the grown-ups are talking.
Blame everyone except the incompetent party
because the person that tried and failed to stop the criminal due to not being very good at it is the real person to blame for a crime, rather than the criminal themself
That's so smart and insightful of you! You're so right the democratic party should do everything exactly the same all over again. It'll totally win them the election this time!
that isnt what I said, I said they arent the ones responsible for Trump, not that their strategy was likely to work after it failed this time.
I thought of a few fantastic Onion headlines and was tempted to write them but they all made me deeply sad.
Oh come on now! You can’t say that without sharing. We want to be deeply sad too!
"In the wake of the Trump victory millions of Americans relieved to find out their white neighbours consider them 'One of the good ones'"
"Deodorant shelves empty as many LGBTQI+ "Allys" realise that they might actually have to prove it"
Its great, I, personally, am teaching my girls to check other's allegiances and ideologies before they get to know them. If they even lean conservative I've told them its acceptable to clock them in the jaw. Dont associate with conservatives, dont allow them to reproduce, dont give them the comfort of social human connections that everyone needs.
That sounds like a horrible idea that will endanger your daughters. Do you know how men will react to being punched in the jaw?
Well that just sounds every bit as batshit insane as the far right. Basically giving them justification in their minds for being so cruel to women.
"This one bitch just punched me, for like.....no reason. I just said I voted for trump, and then BAM! Shit! She punched me!"
"What did you do then?"
"Oh, a bunch of my boys saw. We held her down and beat her mercilessly. That'll teach her!"
"Nice."
And they'll feel justified. All you're doing is teaching your daughters how to encourage physical violence, which I promise you, will not wofk out well for them.
Teach them to distance themselves from conservatives, teach them their beliefs, and how they view women. Teach them how a conservative will treat them in the long run.
But don't teach them to physically attack someone stronger than them, unprovoked, against someone who would take pleasure in returning the violence tenfold.
Nah, if people wanna go around saying "your body my choice" dont talk to the conservatives I dont give a shit. Ya'll do what you want but me and mine aren't associating with the side who wants women to be objects.
But that's not what you said.
Not associating with them is fine. I even said "Teach them to distance themselves from conservatives" in my reply. But there is a HUGE difference between not talking to someone, and randomly punching them in the face.
I'm not conservative. But if someone, male or female, or trans, or whomever, if they punched me in the face for no reason I'm punching them in the face right back. And I'm the type of person who doesn't start fights, but once I'm in one I do end fights.
Now imagine if it were a conservative who ENJOYED hitting women. Imagine they didn't need a reason, but you just started a fight with them for no reason.
You can end your interaction based on politics, sure. That's not insane. What is insane is teaching your daughters to go around inciting violence by themselves against a group of people who's core belief is that women should suffer. It would be like a 1940s Jew in Germany going out and punching a nazi. It's not going to end well.
Okay this is getting lost in my anger post and the filter of social media. In actuality, when the news says who won, when they hear the adults in my family speaking in the kitchen and they ask what's going on I tell them, "if anyone says this to you at school, you stand up for yourself and other girls. Punch them if you have to, and make sure you hit first." If you wanted the real raw deal of what I say word for word. Not my announcement trying to get people to get the point. I will always be like this until the Reds learn some basic fucking respect. The amount of misogynistic comments I hears after the election even in my own office sky rocketed. I dont give a shit about turning the other cheek. Fuck that. When the boot presses you beneath its heel you dont remove it by asking nicely. Punch Nazis. That family values shit they spew as a core value is exactly the same shit the Nazis did.
Violence isn't the answer. You make us look bad.
Yes, because taking the "high road" and not "stooping to their level" has gotten us so far.
Fascism only speaks one language, and that language is violence.
You're encouraging your kids to antagonize, then hit the most unstable, violent, and newly politically minted group on earth? You think that will go well for them?
I understand self respect, but putting your girls into a fist fight with a politically motivated teenage boy sounds dumb as hell.
Late edit:
Encouraging isolated, vulnerable at risk folks to pick fights with members of a fascist "in group" is not going to work. Even if they get out of the encounter unscathed, the system will chew them up. It is not the right way to resist, especially when it's a child.
If you dont like what I tell them to do to these people at school you're gonna hate what I tell them to do them outside classroom.
It's not that I don't like it, it's just that your effectively telling them to play in traffic.
Disengage, separate, distance.
Nah, I see it this way: if this idiot can be president twice, YOU can do anything!
White* boys
Oh, someone didn't see the Latino voting numbers