Plot twist, the homeless man broke into everyones car because they didnt pay the insurance.
this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2025
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Don't pay the insurance fee, bad things are going to happen.
Also Miss Kenzie, my fee went up.
So he works like regular American health insurance.
That was pretty much how parking worked in a lot of places in my hometown. There was someone collecting the "parking fee" and it was wise to pay it. Nothing official, basically a protection racket.
Is there anything more American than a protection racket?
That's called being business savvy /s
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Postcards from The Orphan Crushing Machine.
You are living in sad, sad county 😐
But the surrounding counties are pretty good.
These people's stories are always so fake.
The watching the car protection racket is a very common thing in many countries in the world my friend. Just because it's ridiculous doesn't mean it's not true.
Nah, it's the way it's delivered, not the content.
It's got the same structure and style as those ones where some person is proud of their 10 month year old for looking at the TV and saying, "Go Trump!"
A fragment of truth, with 99% of "I wish it went like this" spun in. The sardine becomes a tuna.
Unless it's true that someone will wash your car and go up against car thieves for $15 and say something like that. I guess it's technically not...impossible. "Thank ya Miss Kenzie. Have a good day Miss Kenzie. God bless Miss Kenzie."
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That homeless man turns out was Elon Musk. He was inspired by what happened to steal even more.
that homeless man was productive. couldn't be musk
Maybe but also I bike around a lot, offer to buy people things if I'm going past a cafe or grocery store and not in a rush, and have asked the person to watch my bike while I'm in there. I've left all kinds of stuff I wouldn't normally on and in the bike and they've always watched over it even in sketchy areas or with stuff worth more than the coffee I'm about to grab them. So I'd file this one under "possible even if improbable, and could be exaggerated"
Asking strangers has proven a winning strategy, based on some research.
Strangers protect strangers’ stuff on the beach (experiment)
Tell me you haven't been to Austin
r/nothingeverhappens
(Pretending this is real) Is this even a good deal? $15 each time. Maybe 1% chance for a break in. You end up paying on average $1500 to stop a break in.
Presumably it's more of an excuse to give the dude $15 than a real expectation of service.
Its amazing that people don't understand that its supposed to be all about the homeless man and zero percent about the car. The fact that she got coincidental services out of her charity is the funny part.
Depending on the cost of parking, it might still be a winner. Every time I park near where someone homeless is posted up I offer them whatever coins I have on me to give me a shout or a call if they see a parking warden before I come back. Cheaper than parking, and it helps local people instead of fucking Wilson's.
Simple! Just keep $2,000 cash in your glove compartment at all times. You've now saved $500, congratulations!
I did this same thing when I was in Austin. When the cost of a decent drink at the bar you're going to is the same price, it's not too much to pay for carsitting services. But tbh I paid him half out of charity and half because I can't be sure he would slash my tires for NOT giving him the money. He knows where my car is and knows I'm going to be away for a while. Better safe than sorry.
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You got a very good deal on a security guard. Well-done, you.
I've also seen free-agent contractors filling queues for movie tickets and TV show taping tickets - when that was a thing - and negotiating their price per hour.
The hero we never knew we needed
Getting real "That happened" vibes here.
Who cares? Just enjoy things for what they are. Believing this isn't tantamount to saying the sun revolves around the earth and we dunno if it is fake or not.
Just be, my guy. It doesn't add anything to the conversation, it doesn't build on anything, it just tears down and is deconstructive over a funny post for no reason whatsoever. It's just you personally rolling up, pointing and going "FAKE." You appear to be new here so lemme just say to leave this type of toxic and unhelpful garbage on reddit.
I feel like things being real or true matters. Maybe that's just me.
You talk to people about your astrology sign without really believing in that shit too?
Astrology is just a compendium of story tropes than can help people find advice for themselves in a fun and engaging way. That's how I see it, and that's how I use it. Truth and reality aren't as easy to define and you might think they are.
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I feel like things being real or true matters. Maybe that's just me
So you don't watch any fictional movies, don't watch stand up, don't read books, none of that? Or are you just drawing an arbitrary line?
Moreover, you do not know if it is true or not. You are making an assumption and then insisting that assumption is reality. So why should we trust you? Or even her? We shouldn't. We should do what I said. Just live your life and stop getting hung up over policing the reality of someone elses world based off of an assumption you've made.
This is just sad. If you were going through your own life going "Fake" that'd be one thing. But you're just actively jumping into a comment section to throw shade and question a post. You are actively using more effort for something you don't think is real than the thing that happened. You could do what the rest of us do and just move on considering this isn't remotely important and the veracity of it doesn't make any difference. Also because it's a funny story and generally the majority of us don't start questioning peoples funny stories.
Like... do you do this at parties? Or is it only acceptable because it's online?
Grow up dude. Seriously. This is some just childish behavior with a good helping of narcissism. I'm just gonna go ahead and block you now because if this is the type of content you're just putting out there immediately then I seriously doubt you're going to have anything to contribute later that will be constructive.
I'm not talking about fiction.
I think its legitimately a problem with the internet. There are enough people out there that take this sort of thing at face value as true. I think it makes everyone dumber.
I've posted shit that was inaccurate or at best dubious on social media. I'm guilty too. But I also got called out.
As for parties, I'm autistic and incredibly obsessive. I'm only OK at parties when I'm drunk or high otherwise I'm a ball of miserable anxiety.
extremely-mad-on-the-internet copypasta material
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i live in homeless land and im pretty sure this didn't happen but it's nice to give $15
incredible tits
this is not the place or time for that.
Well, her tits are not that incredible but nevertheless he is entitled to his opinion.
Idk, I think it's always the time and place for incredible tits.
That said, I'm not that into grainy, pixelated tits, so I'd prefer to talk about the message instead. Good on her for positively interacting w/ a local homeless guy, most people ignore them. If they're going to get out of their slump, they need some positive human interaction.
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Among all the serious comments this was gold
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Austin, TX used to be such a good town.
RIP.
We couldn't keep it weird.... I think the true beginning of the downfall was when Leslie Cochran left us. And Joe "I am so fucking straight guys" Rogan moved in
mega-fucking-sigh
I mean, I peg it more to Greg Abbott becoming governor than anything. Perry was power mad freak, but he was comparatively chill on the culture wars. Abbott's made it his life's goal to Austin into a Whites Only Country Club.
Not very familiar with Austin, why is it important that Joe Rogan is fucking straight guys and telling everyone about it?
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This occasionally ends up on my dash and I love it every time. The mental image/clip it provides is hysterical.
In today's episode of things that never happened...
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