Ask Lemmy

I’d haunt a data center and randomly flip bits unless they do some kind of weird ceremony at shift changes

Press the Insert key on people's keyboards at random times of the day.

If I was a ghost I would try help them as much as I can, not prank them. Idk what influence I'd have, maybe I can appear in influential people's dreams and influence them to do better.

I'm the one who's been talking to your cats and other pets when they get that thousand yard stare at that one spot on the wall.

Lift toilet seats in homes where no males live.

I'd cook people flavorful meals, packaged up and ready to grab in the morning. Maybe they'd come home to a dinner spread after a rough day. And then I would infiltrate banking systems and regularly but stochastically credit poor people's accounts with amounts below the revenue departments structuring threshold.

Finally, I'd find people with test anxiety and coach them through the problems.

Slightly move things in people's house. Like every day your kitchen table is in a slightly different position, not different enough to realize what's going on, just different enough to be slightly confused

Flush the toilet the second someone sits down

I'd go to billionaires and politicians, and give them panic dreams about burning in hell, haunt them during the day,band convince them that there is indeed an afterlife, and they are going to be tortured for eternity if they do not work to fundamentally restructure society to the benefit of the worker.

I'd also convince them that they have to publicly execute certain individuals

I'd make them see this man in dreams.

I'm going into every single office building I can find and just hitting "Ctrl+z" randomly on peoples keyboards as I float around.

Maybe the occasional screen rotate. Most offices workers would not know how to fix their screen being upside down or sideways.

For the bosses I would change the keyboard over to dvorak layout or something.

CEOs I would probably alter their email signature slightly in an offensive way so they get in trouble and possibly fired.

I can think of so many wonderful things to do as a ghost lol

An extra sock in the dryer on occasion.

I'd start appearing at various churches dressed as Jesus talking about "Wait till my father gets done with his latest project and has time to deal with y'all again" to see how many of them say "You mean it's actually real?"

Unrolling the toilet paper.

Ghost farts.

Go into their computer

Cause glitches and errors that just arbitrarily disappear or change whenever the user tries to troubleshoot. Which follow no pattern to speak of.

Turn the digital clocks upside down. Did this accidentally to myself once and when I saw it at night I thought for a moment the universe had disintegrated. Startled pretty bad.

Also: mosquito sounds.

I work in I.T. so I'd pull technology pranks.

• Cause a lag spike when you're about to frag someone
• Make your download fail 90% of the way through
• Move your files from one place to another so you can't find them
• Make your phone battery run out of charge before noon

And little stuff like

• Make nothing happen when you click the first time
• Make the window scroll slightly past the spot you want to go to
• Bring a different window into focus right as you're about to type something

Wear a sheet and go "boo!" Then when they pull the sheet off, I go full Beetlejuice.

I don't. Pranks are done by bullies.

Crack open the medicine cabinet every morning.

Screw all of humanity. Fake nuclear bomb/missile launches on radar in order to jumpstart the next age of humanity.

I won't be alive to deal with the consequences if someone does accidentally end up firing nukes because of my ghost, so why not make humanity suffer for my amusement?

I'm just gonna go into the light and let you guys deal with it.

Ultimate prank, letting everyone else clean up their own messes.

Haunt crumbs and sand into really inconvenient places like underneath keys on a keyboard or under bedsheets.