this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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top 35 comments
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Wait your turn sea dog. There are at least 5 different flavors of doritos we haven't discovered yet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

They could've stopped at Purple and my life would be fulfilled enough.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 hours ago

If you've ever read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy then you'd already know these bastards are just gonna peace out when things get real. So long and thanks for all the fish they'll say as they abandon us to our untimely demise.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Sadly I can’t seem do find it anymore, but there used to be a fake org called the anti-dolphin coalition, claiming that dolphins were in control of all world governments and could kill you with brain lasers or something, among all kinds of other lunacy. It was a good chuckle back in the day.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

So I’m sure how we conceive of being the dominant species is biased. But if we talk about civilizations and their ability to eventually propagate beyond earth, I don’t think dolphins have it. Their ancestry tried out land and said “nah, back to the water”. Not to mention anything we do that takes humans out of the equation entirely is going to probably kill off the dolphins, apes, elephants, basically most of the mammalians. It’ll be so long before something evolves to take our place as “earthlings” all our works will be fossils at best

[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago

Crows can use tools and won't need vehicles to travel. Dolphins don't stand a chance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago

I for one welcome our new dolphin overlords

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Don't malign the whole species from some evildoers. ADAB - All Dolphins Aren't Bad

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago

yeah, but, like, human level evil?

have we talked to them enough to know?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

You're forgetting octopi, otters, squids, and maybe ants or other social insect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Octopi are fundamentally against the concept of society. Squid are more open to it but are hard pressed to achieve anything since they die after mating.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

Cuttlefish? And crabs!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

There is a sciemce fiction book on that, from Ray Bradbury.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So long, and thanks for all fish

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

It hits different when you realize it’s the humans that are leaving.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Nah it won't be dolphins, they don't have appendages that can do fine manipulations

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago

Two words. Prehensile. Penis.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The dolphins and octopods will go to war over who inherits the earth

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

*octopodes (pronounced, I am reliably informed, like a Greek hero!)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My money's on squid. Super intelligent. Social. Fine dexterity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 18 hours ago

Immune to acid ocean waters?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly it’s not too difficult to do a better job than us

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago

Nah dolphins would fuck it up too. I don't think they got this.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 21 hours ago

So, same as now. :/

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nah, they'll peace out as soon as the bulldozers show up

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

yep. they showed up at the latest landing, they want to hitch a ride off this place. so long and thanks for all the fish!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Looks like the dolphins are- AND THE SNAILS ARE GETTING IN THE RING WITH STEEL CHAIRS!?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Waits for the Great filter like a absolute boss

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Oh yeah, well good luck doing shit without hands and feet!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I was told it would be monkey squids.