this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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Autism

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago

big yes from me

[–] [email protected] 9 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I learned that being chatty and introverted are not mutually exclusive long before I got my diagnoses. Just because I can, and will, tell my server they got my order wrong when it's wrong doesn't mean I am an extrovert. It means I am high and not feeling socially anxious and I really want my burger the way I asked.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Me: "That's not ADHD, that's just being human!"
Her: "No, no, really, not."
Me: "What are you saying? I don't have ADHD."
Her: "You sure?"
Me: "Of course I'm sure."
Me: Joins lemmy.
Lemmy: Lots of ADHD memes.
Me: "Huh."

And yes, I thought I was the only really outgoing shy person I knew of, and I couldn't ever make sense of it.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

ADHD and Autism require diagnosis.

So......not me.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It’s not hard to get a test you just need to grow yourself a money tree.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It’s not hard to get a test

Even if money isn't an issue, it's actually really hard (particularly for someone with ADHD symptoms) to take the official test. It's very Catch-22.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

funny thing, I took my test in NZ where it's cheaper and easier apparently, still cost a couple of thousand $NZ but I was given a bunch of forms to fill in.. Found a quiet place to do them in time, read them and filled them in. then realised I'd not read them properly and had to request the forms be resent to complete a second time, this time body doubling with the misses to ensure I'd read and completed them appropriately.

felt like it was part of the test

can you read and fill in these forms by yourself? no, no I can't..

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I have money but its a 3 year wait if you can convince a GP to refer you.... so that's still fun.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

Holy shit, 3 years?

My GP was doing a conference, her replacement was literally the person in the entire region in charge of this specific area.

She said "we could do tests, but it would only eventually come across my desk to give the final stamp. You don't need that. You have ADHD"

I know I got lucky, but... Three years...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I got mine done by a clinical psychology master's student supervised by their professor. It was half the price (and my insurance ended up covering 40%), no GP referral required. If anyone reading this has a college or university near them, check if they have that option. Added bonus is that the students are usually more up to date on current diagnostic criteria compared to someone who has been practicing in the field for a while.

I also get my dental check ups done at the university dental school for the same reason.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I was able to convince my GP to get me a reference after my son was diagnosed. The diagnosis he got was for anything required from school. I got a waiting time of 10 years via the public system or 2 years via the private. My diagnosis could not entitle me for anything else than 'better know myself'.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

See if you could just focus on your personal needs you’d be able to convince your GP to refer you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Nah, I'll just take a tiny hit of meth. It will either work or I'll have the whole place clean. Win win.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Apparently, wolf wizardry.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Exactly! I mean, my son has an autism diagnosis, and my wife has ADS, and my best friend has both, and I work in a field where almost everyone is diagnosed with something, but surely I am normal, because no one diagnosed me. Yet.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

I was like this. I was diagnosed at 28 years old, and now I'm 39. The last remnants of my extroverted tendencies are dying, though. I recently had two friends ghost me because of trauma influenced behavior that I was experiencing. People pretend they're tolerant of autism riiiiiiiight up until something genuinely difficult happens. Then you get to see how your "friendship" was based on a masked version of you and therefore completely fake.

Someone I thought I had a 20 year "friendship" with ghosted me with zero explanation after I moved 1600 miles across the country to live closer to. My extraverted tendencies cause more harm than the loneliness that comes with introversion. It's just not worth it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago

This is probably because introvert and extrovert are just made up and there's no evidence anyone falls neatly into either.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago (7 children)

What is extroverted introverted?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

An extrovert with social anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is my best friend to a T. Recently diagnosed with ADHD as well.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I swear I will get officially diagnosed and medicated this year. I know I've said it for about a decade, but this is the year, lol.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Best of luck!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

There are dozens of us

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's a way of describing that a person is willing to join social interaction, but also enjoys alone time

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Isn't that everyone, more or less? We all need a balance between spending time with others, and time by ourselves.

If I don't get an appropriate amount of both on a regular basis I go crazy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Its just another weird way people who are not specialists try to divide and label everyone for no clear reason to fit into their binary world, I just don't like how its being used. There is too much simplification and generalization while every person is unique. Not saying such things as introvert/extravert should not exist, I just don't like how its being interpreted in mass/social media

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Somewhat, but specifically a sociable person who ultimately needs alone time to recharge (or time just with their partner). Some people need social interaction as their recharge, and they might not be great in their own company for too long.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

That's an ambivert

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Ive always referred to myself as a social introvert. Ill go to social events, have fun, but boy is it exhausting and id rather spend time home alone doing nothing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

There are a bunch of different definitions people use for introversion/extroversion. "Extroverted introvert" means you're extroverted by one definition and introverted by a different one.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think it's someone who is actually extroverted, but do to being cast out as "weird", is now reluctant to talk to people despite their extraversion, and therefore thinks they're introverted.

This describes my case perfectly. I am extroverted, but due to people finding me weird, I was scared of talking to people, and mistook it for introversion. I am now way more outgoing than before once I figured it out, and people care a bit less about you being weird if you're likeable once you're older.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

It might also be the other way around. There are plenty of people who are really introverted, so social engagement still drains their energy, but while it's happening, they can be/appear extroverted, charming, outgoing, sometimes at exponential extra cost.

The difference between intro- and extraversion is not simply the ability of a person to talk to others, their (perceived) "shyness" etc., but also encompasses how they regenerate, what and how much stimulation they prefer and what kind of company they need and enjoy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Someone who is too introspective for their own good

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I'm a huge introvert, but if I can get past the initial hurdle of getting my ass motivated to actually meet with people, I have a good time. I've also been in sales/public facing jobs for most of my working life, which blows people away when they realize how antisocial I can be. I mask very well.

Most of the time, it's how much juice is left in my social battery that dictates what I end up doing. I will avoid my best friends of 20+ years if I'm not in the mood.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

I used to call myself an introvert with extrovert tendacies and so ya, I'm in this meme lol.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

🙈

I avoid people at all cost, and for the special few that make it into my life, I just won't shut the fuck up 😭

It's a problem, every night my partner has to manage my chattiness, if allowed I will just pillow-talk until 2am.

but yeah, I'm not autistic.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's not autism. That's social anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

Why not both!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are those separate things or is there a connection?

Like:

I'm curious, how many "Hawaiian pizza eaters" found out they had adhd or autism later in life?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Yes, how you socialize and how much it drains you are affected by whether or not you’re autistic and/or ADHD.

People who are naturally outgoing but also autistic/ADHD have the same drive to go out and interact with people, but due to differences in how they act/perceive the world wind up much more drained from the experience (either from sensory overstimulation or anxiety from people being unpredictable). This often leads to seeking out socialization less, even though they are just as desperate for it as anyone else who is naturally more extroverted.

And instead of typing up a paragraph every time they want to talk about it, they say introverted extrovert.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

i am not but i very well might be if i ever let a pro check me out

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

...shut up. -.-

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

I was diagnosed at 56 with ADHD and Autism. So many fuck ups of mine make sense now.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Kind of, I was always just introverted and finding out I had autism and unlearning the coping mechanisms I made from not knowing wtf was going on made me able to be more extraverted then before, at least briefly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

What a weird way to say ambivert.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I am in this, but I got tested and I'm "normal" even though in my 20s I'm pretty sure I would have been in the very high ranges.

I'd still say I have an ADHD brain with OCD tendencies, but I've managed to moderate both through a decade of exercise, caffeine, and sugar.

(Anecdotal, N=1) I think once your brain realizes in some sense that it can be productive despite its neuroses, the extremes peter out once the stress of your failures no longer hang over you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago
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