Microblog Memes

My wife and I are in our fifties. When we got our robotic vacuum we spent a week arguing about what to name it.

Meryl Sweep

And if that new cordless vacuum doesn't work well it will be a significant disappointment that you and your partner discuss multiple times.

Doesn't everyone get excited though? Even as a kid I would get excited because it would make chores easier.

Uh oh... I've been excited about cordless vacuums since my early 20s 🫣

A Trader Joes will be opening soon in your area:

40's? I'm barely in my 30s and talked for weeks about my new cordless mop/vacuum hybrid thing LMAO

I got one that uses the same battery system some other tools (lawnmower, strimmer, drill) uses and oh baby it's nice.

the difference between me and 20's me is that i can now afford a new vacuum

Turned thirty, and I'm just so done with cordless.

Battery issues. Recharging issues. Suction issues (especially when it randomly decides 'this is is too hard' and cuts out). Cleaning issues.

Gonna be a dumb boomer and hold out on proper corded vacuums. Which I guess means looking to the industrial/commercial grade at this point.

I'm 25 and ngl I'd be excited to get one of these

I was excited by one, but it was shit and I went back to my Henry. I will never leave you again Henry.

I need a vacuum that can handle dog hair really well. My current one uh... Doesn't suck?

Remember always buy one that uses replaceable battery packs. Even better if you can just use a power tool battery. There are even adapters for certain brands of vacuums so you can put a power tool battery into the vacuum.

If the battery is not replaceable you have to trash the vacuum after a couple of years of use, since the battery won’t hold a charge. Replacing the li-on cells is not easy and requires a spot welder, you can’t just use a soldering iron.

I was 31 when I got excited about one. It had the same battery as my drill.

And tools. Almost any new tool feels like Christmas. I got a new riding lawnmower and I was giddy. And I’m in my 50s.

Thirty is cordless and light, because fuck 50 pound vacuums that you have to lug around because 'it gets better suction'

Forty is a robotic vacuum that doubles as an alarm clock when it wanders into your room at 7 am, eats a sock, and yells at you to unclog it.

I shared this with a friend years ago on discord.

I just bought a new cordless vacuum on Sunday and am talking about to people at work. I feel attacked

36 here. I'm very excited at the thought of this.

Oh, I remember my first time. I was 14 and was going to the mall with my family to buy a new vacuum cleaner. For some inexplicable reason, all five kids were too excited and wouldn't stop yapping about it. So the adults decided we'd all give it a go, and anyone not using the vacuum cleaner would have to clean something else. We were juked into cleaning the entire house.

I used to work as a vacuum salesperson, and one day I noticed an older model unloved Bissell, brand new, on clearance.

Someone had fucked up and set staff discount price to $0.01.

That is the most thrilling vacuum purchase of my life and nothing will get close

If you have a 'normal' house and keep up with cleaning, a cordless should be fine. The portability and lightness are awesome.

If you have a dog or cat, results may vary.

If you have two labs, you're going to want to throw the thing out the window every time you use it because it clogs every 3 minutes.

Yes, even the "pet" version.

Yes but it would have also excited me as a child.

Opening a new appliance box, looking at all the nice packaging (especially if it’s a high end one), setting it up and taking it for a test drive!

I mean yeah, I didn’t care about the actual vacuuming, but I was always excited about anything new and expensive.

My wife and I are 44, and can think of little finer than driving down to a local beach, getting a bag of chips, and watching people walk by with their Very Good Dogs. On a sunny day it's just about one of the best things you can do.

If 24 year old me knew about this, he'd probably have hanged himself.

Wait so you turn into a yappy little dog when you turn 40? That sounds terrifying.

If you haven't learned by 40 that all cordless vaccuums are terrible, then you're beyond help.

I stand by my OG coorded Dyson Ball Animal upright. It's almost 20 years old now and still sucks the soul out of you.