this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.

This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.

Tap for spoilerBasically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.

For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.

Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.

Edit 2: I’ve got 41 comments to respond to. Currently working but I’ll be back y’all.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.

Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I'm exactly like you're describing and a little older than you (44). Songs, TV shows, movies, animated series. It's a trivial feat to make me tear up at pretty much anything someone might consider touching.

I suppose it's outside of the statistical norm for our demographic, but I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with it. We feel things and we express those feelings when we have them. I'd argue it's a lot healthier than what the statistical mean of our cohort does.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I get teary eyed when watching movies all the time. I watched the new Lil and stitch the other week and even though the story isn't super deep, it made me cry a little in the end.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I'm not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don't seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won't know if I'm doing it right. I'm just going to say it's the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Yes, of course it's normal. It's not necessarily the writing; sometimes it's the music or cinematography that'll get you. For me it's often a strong vocal, as a minimum I'll get goosebumps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Totally normal to get emotional about things that resonate with us. I recently rewatches the new d&d movie and cried twice. Found family stories tend to get me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I cried like a baby watching Titanic and Interstellar. I also cried at the end of WALL*E

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yea man, count me in as shedding the occasional tear due to story drama

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Crying is normal. You're a normal dude 👍

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know about you, but I feel sad watching the grass cutter robots just.. cut grass all day. Do you think the robot even wants to do it? The program forces it to cut grass. It's cruel

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have you seen the Love, Death, and Robots episode Zima Blue?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Me for sure. Every so often, I'll pull something up just for the sake of some tears.

My go-tos include (in no particular order):

  • Avengers: Endgame
  • The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Patch Adams
  • The Deathly Hallows (Part 2)
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender
  • The Owl House
  • House MD (Season 4 finale)

Probably some more I'm not thinking of, at the moment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Shoutout to this LIST! 100% certain I've been unable to contain my emotions watching all of these. To me that's a marker for quality, so props on your good taste!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yes, but very rarely. Most stories just don't affect me that way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I cry so often when I watch movies. It sometimes feels pathetic 😅

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Big Fish in particular got me because my dad is similar to the protagonist's.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

bro i cry at chords.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

While some lie about it or try to deny or even suppress it, most people have at least a few scenes that make them cry.

Pretty sure I could make a few people tear up by just quoting a single line:

Here Lies Philip J. Fry, named for his uncle, to carry on his spirit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

My first time crying at a movie was a little while after I started HRT. It was Into The Spider-Verse. Dad Morales tells his son "I love you, but you don't have to say it back."

That movie is a trans allegory fr

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I cry (or at least feel a very strong impulse to cry) from good stories all the time. If the stories you're partaking of aren't making you feel something, then I feel as though they're a waste of time and not really well written.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I agree, but I think sometimes it’s fine to just want to consume something bland to just chill.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

When it's good, certainly. We gotta grab whatever chance we have to feel things intensely, unless the moment doesn't call for it, before our time is up and we can't anymore!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Not usually but after having kids and getting older more things affect me. Certain episodes of Bluey I have to bite my lip through and basically every Pixar movie.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

All the time, but I think I've just got a lot of emotion that I seldom let out, and that's the only time I can let it out in an appropriate way. I'm not too fussed about it honestly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The last episode of season 1 of Bojack still draws a few tears. I remember going into that last scene expecting him to cause some shit and have a big showdown with Diane... but then he just quietly asks for some acknowledgement that he can be good. I think it was the unexpected delivery, but also now how that dialog keeps getting set to lofi contemplative music on youtube that continues to make it feel heartbreaking. The latter is my own fault for clicking shit though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah. I think it's because there is some big stuff missing in my life and it feels weird to see certain things I want

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. "The penguin of my life" was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.

And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.

I think I am more open for this since I'm older (40s), when I was young I would've never let myself be that open.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I do. I actually love to cry. I have a playlist on YouTube called Cry, just because I need to feel that sometimes.

I also seem to have some sort of audio-tactile synesthesia, because there are a few exact moments in some music pieces to make my head tingle and my eyes drain like waterfalls. Not even always sad parts and I don’t feel bad. Eyes just start running like the cops are chasing them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Very rarely.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Yes it is normal, that scene in the animated movie up gets me. John Q too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I consider myself a pretty calm, stoic person, but there have been many movies that I couldn't hold back tears. It comes to me when the movie takes an unexpected joyous turn.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

All the time. I mean, I got misty over Smoke's death scene in Sinners lol

Wanna have sad happy tears? Videos of nervy squervy cats. Poor sweet things trying to live their best lives but have trouble moving! Omg 😭❤️😭

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

The only movie that legit made me cry was Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I only saw it once, and I tried real goddamn hard to suppress the tears, but a few leaked out. Luckily, none of the people I watched it with noticed, so my masculinity remained in-tact.

I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters,

Fuck yeah it is. It's a beautiful thing to be so moved by something that it brings you to tears (especially art). It's what makes us human: we're not just mindless beasts trying to eat and fuck, we're experiencing life to its fullest.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I do. It just depends on what it is and what headspace I'm in. The worst one was I Saw the TV Glow. It was right around the time Trump got elected.

Major spoilers.There have been times in the past where I feel like I'm getting close to being suicidal (idk how to phrase it, sort of like a yellow flag thing) and I always just felt like "the writing was bad." Like surely there is something controlling my life and not just that, it's bad writing.

The story of the movie is very meta. The main character is told that they are not in fact a normal person living a normal life, but they are actually a character from their favorite childhood show. The series ended on a cliff hanger. The main villain of the series locked the main characters into a nightmare. The other character reveals this to the main character.

The movie is just already really good and hits a lot of gender things for me and was sort of sad because of that... But the tantalizingly feeling of being able to just escape to a better reality by something so simple as offing yourself is terrifying. It hit startlingly close to a bunch of themes I already experienced for whatever reason. Like feeling like my life is fake and part of a show or movie. And seeing it just gave me this dread. Like those stories where people hear someone trying to talk to them from outside of a coma. And it happened in a period when I was, idk, I guess just extremely pessimistic about the state of the world. It was awful. (Not in a bad way, just the feeling.)

I'm just glad I watched it with a bunch of friends who were also queer and many gender queer. I hadn't even come out to my friends yet about that topic, and I don't think I have either, but I'd seen a lot of people say the movie was really devastating because of that stuff, so I knew going in to be ready. But... Wow. The reality escaping stuff just came totally out of left field and it's not even something I knew to be wary of in content or anything.

I'll close with this. The movie is good, I enjoyed it over all, but that hit like a sledgehammer. Also, I am safe. None of these things are anywhere close to attempts or ideations or anything of the matter.

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