this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
980 points (100.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

7604 readers
2552 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 248 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The CIA wrote a manual on how to do this. It's a bit old and parts of it are outdate for some times of work, but a lot of it is still useful.

  • Misunderstand orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders
  • Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products
  • Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done (some might say normal businesses do this as a matter of course...)
  • Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible
[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Shit, 80% of the people I work with must have read that manual then. That’s a near daily occurrence.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Every web project manager I’ve ever had apparently lived by this manual.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Good for them

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago

I'm pretty sure this is our company policy

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"What about the droid attack on the wookies?"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is also the perfect manual for how to cosplay as energy vampire Colin Robinson.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

is it? i think we need to hold a meeting to discuss the merits of using this as a manual for cosplaying as the energy vampire Colin Robinson. And for that matter the merits of using it as a manual for cosplaying as any other energy vampire. In fact i think we should make this a weekly standup to ensure continued validity of using it as a manual for cosplaying as energy vampires, Colin Robinson or not. I'll schedule it for monday morning.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 week ago (3 children)

can't wait to be accused of being a collaborator just because i've been peter principled into a position i don't understand

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

That’s the neat thing about dictatorships, your behavior is completely irrelevant to how you are treated. If they want to end you, they don’t need a justification.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Peter principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to "a level of respective incompetence": employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Thank you for telling me that the Peter principle wasn't named after Peter Griffin

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

The Peter Principle is a concept where people get promoted up to their highest level of incompetence.

If you're good at your job, you get promoted. If you keep being good, you keep getting promoted. But eventually you land in a position that you're not good at.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Peter principal is the idea that anyone good at their job will keep getting promoted until they are no longer any good at the job they were promoted to. The idea is that anyone who has been in any position for any significant amount of time must be terrible at it otherwise they would have gotten promoted to a different position already.

Personally I think it definitely applies to some people but I don't believe it's the universal rule people make it out to be.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

In my experience it most efficiently explains lower and middle managers who were internal promotions from the ranks of non-supervisory or regular staff.

In some jobs, like academia, you will run out of regular promotions and will just end up plateauing, especially in salary. The only way out of this is to become a manager of some sorts: department head, assistant manager, section head, project manager, etc. or to do a lateral transfer to a different job where you can renegotiate salary, benefits, and job description. Or in the case of true academics, supplement income with book tours, speaking fees, consulting, etc.

Some of the worst managers I’ve encountered were people who had been doing their jobs for about a decade and needed that “promotion” to management to get a raise or move away from a job they physically or emotionally couldn’t do anymore.

But bad managers are a bell curve with MBAs and career management types on one end and “Bob, who finally got that promotion” on the other.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

They can't fire you, because it would mean they have to fire hegseth with his "flawless opsec"

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know a federal government employee who spent over half a day writing their "5 things you did last week" email. It seemed like a very important task coming from high up in the administration, so they wanted to take the time to make sure it was done right.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The problem is, if they’re in one of the positions the fascists wanted to remove, they likely want that work disrupted; so you’re accomplishing their goal that way.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

Bikeshed the shit out of everything.

Nazi Germany might have killed less Jews if they spent an excessive amount of time in meetings about which tile to use in the gas chambers.

Edit: "As per mine previous telegram, zee Führer does not vant to spend zee time and money to create a swastika mosaic in zee gas chambers vhen vee are already EIGHT MONTHS BEHIND SCHEDULE!! Please review zee color options vee discussed at our last meeting and let me know how you could like to proceed as soon as possible.

Most sincerely,

Colonel Wilhelm Klink"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

Here's the thing: my dad does tiling on a regular basis and he says it's ceramic or it's nothing. Especially when you're working with a caustic gas.

The problem is the grout. You want a grout that isn't going to fall apart after several uses. The color plays an important role on the binding so we really need to commission a study on how much of a mixture we need.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Ugh, Adolph asked me to get the whole cabinet together in the warroom at 5. It seems he is not happy with the alpine white. Sounds like we are going to be here all night.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Wilhelm Klink was the British top agent Nimrod. He and Schultz were fully aware about Hogan's operation and in fact made sure they would not only not be interfered with, but facilitated.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago

This is why the stormtroopers all miss

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

While technically true, you're neglecting that a lot of these agencies employ quotas and performance awards and other metrics to track and promote the more hustler-mindset goons while dumping the less enthusiastic. That's been at the heart of the DOGE campaign - finding and removing anyone who might potentially obstruct the administration's agenda in any agency suspected of hosting opposition bureaucrats.

The purges guarantee the admin can bring in loyalists, more dedicated to the optics of the administration than the role of the office. The performance metrics produce a high rate of false positives in investigations, arrests, and prosecutions. But that's not a bug in this system, its a feature. The "oops I'm bad at my job" strategy of internal disruption isn't a bad one on its face, but it is also not one higher ups aren't fully aware of (and often unjustifiably paranoid about). When the fascist regime begins to fail and starts searching for scapegoats, some of the first they pounce on are the incompetent or unenthusiastic agents on the inside.

That's a big reason why mid-level bureaucrats best serve the system by exiting it entirely. Simply leaving an empty desk does more to clog the gears than doing a mediocre job in the role. And you're not around to take the heat when a Trump AG feels the need to arrest a judge or prosecute a prosecutor for failing to torment local residents fast enough.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

There's been quotas and monitoring at every single one of my jobs, and all they do is alienate the talented staff and leaves the loyal morons & the money-driven behind.

The last two firms I worked at are still desperately begging me to come back, three years after I resigned, because the ship is rapidly sinking since their AI replacement strategy did not plan out.

I just resigned my latest position, and I'm gonna take a week or two to get back into making art and music, and then I'm going to take my talent and energy to the organizations fighting back against fascism.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Man if they offered me like 4x my current pay, I'd go back, but if it's been 3 years I would probably be 3 years less efficient than they expected.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

There was a time when I would have accepted to go back for 3x the pay, or just go back and slack my ass off until I got fired, laughing my way to the bank.

But what changed for me is that I realized they are a bunch of self-serving liars-- and if they screwed me over once, they will totally do it again.

I would be stupid to put myself into that position and be stressed out the whole time trying to anticipate when they are going to pull the rug from underneath me again.

Instead, I rather move on to a new job, meet some new people, get paid to watch training videos which are often interesting and valuable (and if they are not, I just play Balatro on my phone while I half listen to them).

I also almost always get a pay raise when I move on to a new job, but not always. Moving from public accounting to state government accounting was a significant pay cut for me, but now I am going to get much better benefits, work less hours, my coworkers I've met so far are awesome, and the work I am going to do actually helps protect my state and my community. I know I'm going to be much happier in this new role and I value that more than I value money. And if I'm not, I'll just bounce and find something else.

And I know we often think that's easy to say when you don't have kids to feed, and while it is true that I do not, I would much rather explain to my kids that we will all have to learn how to plant a veggie garden together and make do with less before I teach them to accept being abused and exploited for the extra money.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In the face of fascism we’re all underpaid idiots

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

"Simple Sabotage Field Manual" by United States. Office of Strategic Services is a historical publication written during the early 1940s, amid World War II. This manual acts as a guide for ordinary civilians to conduct simple acts of sabotage against enemy operations without the need for specialized training or equipment. Its main topic revolves around promoting small, accessible forms of resistance that could collectively disrupt the enemy's war effort.

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26184

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

When I worked in the private sector every mistake was percieved as malicious intent by management.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

That's a sign of toxic management that almost always indicates incompetence.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

this isn't even a meme, there are politics communities for this kind of thing.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you know a meme is just anything that gets shared, duplicated, replicated, or repeated, right? calling things memes is a meme. society is a meme. civilization is a meme. Dee's Nuts being overly salted is a meme

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I know that, but since internet meme became I thing it has gained a second definition as a type of joke, which is the meaning intended in the names of meme communities. there are places for politics (including political memes) and this is not one of them.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

An Internet meme is more than just "a type of joke".

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Whether this fits your definition of a meme or not, this is the kind of thing that needs to be shared as widely as possible.

The world needs this kind of support from as many people as possible right now.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

as long as there's no rule against politics (and there isn't) i don't think i can bring myself to agree with this stance

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Take another look at the comm name.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (4 children)

context: today is may 1st and we were all supposed to strike today.

that's why context is important, OP. please don't assume everyone knows what you know. the information in our heads is different from the information in your head. it's called theory of mind and most people develop it in early childhood. idiot.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

I didn’t know this. I didn’t see any indication that OP knew this (or to the contrary). Maybe you should practice what you preach.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I'm so confused what you are responding to

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Very early in my career I realized how much a business (or any organization) depends on heroes to survive crises. You can make up as many procedures as you want, but when shit starts hitting fans the people who save your organizational ass are the ones who skip their mandatory breaks, come in all weekend during the crunch, and figure out what to do when there's no procedure. The best way to sabotage MAGAcism in a crisis is work as slowly as you can get away with, and follow procedures exactly no matter how poorly they fit the situation.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

....or leak a signal chat

load more comments
view more: next ›