Funny
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
Thathappened.txt
Yeah, construction dude was from Azerbaijan instead, but that's hard to spell.
yes, you are very clever for being able to identify a piece of fiction on the internet. Your powers of logic and reason are astounding.
I'll take shit that never happened for $200
Nothing ever happens.
Still pretty funny.
The humor comes from absurdity. Knowing that it's made up greatly decreases the absurdity.
I like hearing a multi-cultural joke that isn't racist except towards U.S. Americans
So do you skip movies unless they're documentaries? It's OK for people to like fiction even if you don't.
I skip shitty, low quality fiction, yeah.
I never said it wasn't ok for you to like it. I don't judge people. I just judge jokes, and this is a sucky joke.
All of the "nothing ever happens" people need to literally touch grass. Shit like this happens all of the time in major cities.
I thought it was pretty believable up until the fist bump. That part has "and then everyone clapped" energy. I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the story is true.
Fair enough...
Then everyone clapped
Deadass, no cap!
Nah, you wanna have a talk with your imaginary friend imma step outta line and complain loudly about it so you know you lost business for it. As would most people ime, dude would be out of business fast, and thank fuck for that
You very well know you sure as hell wouldn’t have the balls to do it. Now sit down; the grownups are talking.
If you got a problem with it just take your business elsewhere, like the pretzel guy next door. No need to cause a fuckin scene about it
Who the fuck invited Karen!? I thought we talked about this y'all, wtf‽
I'm a gay atheist and I think what you've said here is horrible. If you actually did that and I'm in line I'd go spend twice as much as I was going to to make up for your lost business, and also out of spite for you being a shit example of an atheist.
Dude, lighten up. Pretend he has to go take a shit or something.
Pretend he has to go take a shit or something.
I love that. Whatever the reason, we all have different needs. We're all better off if we make room for each-others hang-ups.
Prayers don't take that long. Maybe if you in a rush go elsewhere but 10-15min even during lunch rush ain't going to make or break a sandwich cart.
you are a tar pit
What are your thoughts on Richard Dawkins?
I’m an atheist and even I think the dude’s a twat who enjoys the smell of his own farts.
Dawkins is to atheism as Fred Phelps is to Christianity
Atheist here, Dawkins is proof that atheists can still be fucking stupid
See also: Carl of Akkad, Thunderf00t
I wonder if "talking to my Invisible Friend" would work as an excuse for a break. Not relevant if you're your own boss of course.
"I need a break" is a good excuse for a break.
Making room for this guy's prayers is a good precedent for all of us.
I hate atheists man
Dude, I get it, but as an atheist, it sucks to be lumped in like this. Most atheists don’t care that you practice your religion, and they are very respectful of it. Just because it’s not something I believe doesn’t mean I get to shit on other’s beliefs.
The atheists who act/think like this tend to be very new to it and are excited to show they are different or that they are actively rejecting the religion that they came from. Or, they are just a closed-minded person.
Most of us understand that it’s not a break; it’s a requirement of their religion. These people aren’t doing it to get out of work or to go have fun for a bit, and equality is not the same as equity. Some people need different things in the workplace and that’s fine. But, I know that there are a lot of atheists that are far too aggressive with their lack of belief.
I know you are already aware of most of this, but my overall point is that there are a lot of us atheists fighting for people to be able to practice their religions in and out of the workplace, and I’m sorry that you’ve only seen the shitty part of us.
I'm also an atheist, have been for a long time. I also hate getting lumped in with these dbags. I could try to formulate a well-reasoned argument for why we shouldn't admonish religious people, but you cannot reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into, and the performative kind of hate that people like Lovable Sidekick have towards all religious beliefs and practices is not founded on reason.
I cannot convince Lovable Sidekick to stfu, because they do not care about the effect they have on our image, they care about people knowing they're an atheist. I might convince other atheists to stfu, by making fun of the insufferable ones.
That’s fair, and hopefully it works! I didn’t mean to spiel at you. I was just sad that people see us like that, even though it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.
but as an atheist, it sucks to be lumped in like this.
Every person with a religious belief knows this feeling.
And atheists tend to be more religious than most theists. Some are chill, but you'll probably never know they're atheists.
In spite of uncertainty about how the universe started, everything we know about its mechanics says it works without any need to believe in any of the mythology people have invented to explain it in a state of ignorance. Sometimes I'm tactful about that, sometimes I'm just honest, but there it is. Nobody's obligated to respect delusions, and in fact the pain and damage they've led to through many centuries suggests that those delusions more properly should be actively discouraged.
Well that's like, your opinion, man.
Yeah it is, and it's also like everyone's opinion. People might be more interested in giving atheists a fair shake if it weren't for people like you, only interested in letting everyone know how smart and rational you are. Sure, it keeps people from questioning their beliefs when every atheist they see is a condescending douchebag, but at least everyone knows you're a special star-spangled skeptic.
Wow. Maybe have those meds checked.
Sounds fake.
Then everyone clapped