this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 169 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A genuinely heartwarming greentext. Probably fake and gay, but heartwarming nonetheless.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 11 months ago (4 children)

As a gay, it's definitely gay. There's secret text that only gays can read. I can't tell you what it says or the ghost of Anderson Cooper will have me excommunicated from the gay Mafia, but it's there.

... I fear I've said too much already.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The gay agenda is keeping the secrets of 4chan from the normies confirmed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

The government already knew. Check out the documentary The Men Who Stare at Posts

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

ghost of Anderson Cooper

Are you people able to become ghosts even while you're alive? How do I learn this power??

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

By asking this question you have initiated the ancient ritual. Three spirits will visit you on the eve of national coming out day. You will have to blow them to gain your answers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I think I know

Randy Marsh from South Park covered in ectoplasm from the episode "Over Logging"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

@dharmacurious i am here to rescind your prostate

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Noo! Not that! I've been good! It won't happen again!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

While reading this text I definitely read some text. How do I know if that was the gay text or just a regular text?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Maybe if you're American... Seems like pretty fucking weird behavior to me.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

it's so weird to me that people get so much out of living in the country they were born in. I've lived in 5 countries, it's not that different.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh really? Sing all their national anthems

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Most countries don't sing theirs during class each morning

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Agree, only a few places around the world do that (America included in the mostly no)

[–] [email protected] 99 points 11 months ago

Hello? Pizzahut? Yes this is hospital, your patriotic disc muncher is pretty mangled up over here. Please dispense calories

[–] [email protected] 91 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Could God create a story so gay that even he could not fake it?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Now tell me... Is the story fake, because it's gay, or is it gay... Because it's fake?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Neither, they're perpendicular axes. It's just that every greentext is on the top right quadrant

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fake and stupidly nationalistic.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah so "fake and gay" is evolving lol

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

I don't understand, their phrase was identical to yours.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Sorry, but... What an arsehole. Let poor people dance through stupid hoops to earn a lil extra. Fuck you, just tip or don't. You know? Like adults.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Nobody is forcing these people to take on the challenges. And clearly they enjoyed them enough to personally write a get well card.

Guess having fun isn't allowed anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What if I let homeless people dance for money?

Where does one draw the line?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Yeah there is no difference between a delivery guy who at least has a job and a choice vs a homeless guy with literally no choice if it comes down to survival. Its not that hard to draw a long when you are not a complete dumbass

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Then they're busking, people have made a living doing that since at least medieval times.

Fact is, working for your money is effective even if you're begging. People are more likely to toss a dollar to a guy with a guitar or some other gimmick than they will to somebody just sitting there with a sign. Is it cruel, or gross? Maybe, yeah, a little bit. Extra sucks for the disabled homeless, I do understand that. But being a street performer is a legitimate job in some places. People will pay money for entertainment whether you're on TV or on the corner of 5th and MLK. If a homeless person wants to dance for a dollar I say let them. Begging for spare change is legitimately a competitive business. That can make the difference between getting food and a haircut or not.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

So... That was basically my point. They're assholes. Tip or don't. Be it a beggar or whomever. Just because the majority acts like that, doesn't make it less asshole-y 😉

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

If that homeless person is delivering a pizza and willing to attempt a challenge, sure

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

You're feeling slightest bit of pleasure from an altruistic act, REEEEEEE!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Dunno if u know what those people make? I wouldn't even wanna wake up for that salary, of course they do your stupid things to double the hourly salary. They already deliver you your fucking food. I tip 50 bucks and that's it. I don't need their get-well-cards. It's a try to equalize things. A true thank-you that they're doing that shitty work so i don't have to.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That seems pretty patronizing...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

In both senses of the word!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

I believe this green text implicitly, this actually happened, no proof needed.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I can believe it. Good pizza places will go the extra mile for good tipping regulars.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

The local pizza delivery girl friended me on FB. I got excited because I thought she was cute and into me. Then I learned she's super right-wing and weird (in a bad way.). She became WAY less cute to me after that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

We also remember the regulars who don't tip, and we control how long your order takes, if we make a stop at a gas station (or home, or the weedman's) before or after we drop off, if your soda "got a little shook up" because we "had to slam on the breaks," and not only that but even less scrupulous drivers have say 10-15min alone with your order. Just a word of warning for those I've just described. Might want to tip or vary your stores up...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So how much was the hospital bill?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

10 000 pizzas