Spaghetti will dump out of my pant pockets upon my demise
this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
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Thats not spaghetti ๐คข
Anxiety
Wh...why won't it stop? It just keeps coming. Where is it coming from?
Please don't mug me.
Phone | 1 | Legendary | $750
Leatherman Surge | 1 | Epic | $200
Flipper Zero | 1 | Rare | $150
Lock Picks | 1 set | Uncommon | $15
Mini Multimeter | 1 | Uncommon | $15
Random Tools | 1-3 | Common | $10
Mini Mouse and Keyboard | 1 set | Common | $10
Cash | - | Common | $33-$83
Cable | 1-5 | Junk | $5
Random OS Installer | 1-3 | Junk | $5
Keys | 1 stack | Junk | $0
This guy securities
Is a phone really legendary if every person you kill drops one? ๐ค
It's legendary to me. Don't rarity shame my loot table.
A pair of glasses that nobody else can see through, a fixed size watch that will only fit the smallest of wrists, and a mostly empty wallet with cryptic notes in it going back over a decade.
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An ear or a tooth that would contribute towards satisfying your quest, but inexplicably only 10% of the time.
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My +3 poop knife
Cargo Shorts of Holding.
a rucksack with a bunch of nifty tools inside
A bunch of fully functionally cables that you'll keep forever but will never have any practical use.
No loot, just 3 exp
A suit of armor that looks very different when you put it on depending on your gender.
Debt
Meat.
A small plain wooden box, with a gold-looking clasp.
Upon opening, the person would be granted anxiety, depression, empathy, and self-loathing, or an increase of the same, to the point they'd often wish they'd never existed.
If by "defeated" you mean "killed outright", there'd also be a small slip of paper saying "Thank you."
A bunch of replacement organs that would look nice on first look but would actually drain your stamina at 5 % per year.
A pair of black Timberlands, a bag of salted peanuts, and a copy of the Codex Borgia in English. All item qualities are grey to white.
I feel like Codex Borgia would be a legendary item
I love it, but it's the easiest Mesoamerican Codex to get copies of. I do have a 5% chance of dropping a copy of the Codex Nuttall and that's at least an orange quality.
Clinical depression and student loans
Pee
I would have the RPG classic, a few medicinal herbs
- 3 copper
- 1 Linen Cloth
- 1 Crucial BX500
Truly worthless items
Egg
I fully intend to go out like a minecraft zombie, so whenever I leave home I carry a nearly broken shovel, an iron ingot, or a carrot.
Empty beer can, an overly expensive but highly niche PC part (for example a fiber channel card or backup capacitors for raid controllers), a guitar pick, and an airport lounge access card.
A 20-foot-long sarissa, not because I'm armed with one but because that's what you rolled on the drop table.
A phone, a wallet, assorted keys, a pair of gloves.
If I'm in everyday clothes, a Leatherman Skeletor and a pair of ear buds.
If I'm at work... a Leatherman Signal and a pair of ear buds. And 8 zip ties.
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Legendary rhombus of doubt
Two eyes, a brain, a liver, two kidneys, 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Fuck if I know how it takes some people 30 kills to collect 5 eyes.
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- phone
- watch
- handkerchief
- wallet
- sigh of relief
- performance of "screw you guys, I'm goin' home"
Organs for as many people as can take them.
i dunno, but whatever it is will forever curse the scavenger in ways that linger long after the loot is discarded or destroyed.
Numbers smaller than 314159, surely.
Trick question, I will never be defeated.