Why the fuck is he so horny for Canada? Who put him on to this?
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2025
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Many theories:
- Trudeau has criticized Trump in the past so it's just a revenge quest
- Trump wants to be emperor and trying to rule over neighbors is just what emperors do
- Just some delusionial Trump bullshit that demonstrates his mental decline
- (highly speculative) Influence from Elon, whose grandfather wanted to turn Canada into an NRx-style white supremacist corprate-fascist state 80 years ago and failed, hence the move to south africa. Conceivably Elon wants Trump to make him governor of Canada so he can finish the job. Generally I'm not in favor of wild intruguing speculation like this but it's just too fun/horrifying to pass up.
I think he's just obsessed with controlling the arctic, since it's going to be ice-free soon (and thus incredibly important for global shipping)
It's why his 3 main "targets" are Canada, Greenland, and Panama (for the canal)
Russia has long threatened Canada from the north, but Canada's alliance with the USA deterred it from attacking. Now the USA is considering stealing Canada's resources and gaining access to strategic Arctic waters, Russia will also know that Canada is vulnerable because the USA will no longer defend it. So now these two predators are circling Canada and may even be coordinating plans with one another.
I extremely doubt that Trump would give any of Canada to Russia. Just because he wants Canada doesn't mean he wouldn't interfere with a Russian invasion, to the contrary. He would probably use it as a pretext to anex Canada, but either way that's never gonna happen. Russia doesn't have the strength to invade Canada and it would be immensely stupid to do so.
While it sounds feasible, I wouldn't think Russia has the leeway to flush more men into another losing invasion.
That’s what all the money in the Social Security Administration is for.
Oof.
Someone accidentally left the TV on Canadian Bacon and he caught a few minutes of it before he went to speak with reporters.
Yo Canada, I’m sorry he’s such a prolapsed, syphilitic asshole. Most of us would laugh if he died in a fire.
I'd throw a party.
I'd open that single malt I reserve for truly special obituaries.
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America has been subsidizing Canada
2024: Canada imports ~$480 billion total from the USA. Divided by 40 million Canadian population, that's $12,000 for every man, woman, and child spent on American shit.
USA imports ~$586 billion from Canada. Divided by 400 million population, that's only $1,465 per capita, and that's only 1/8th of the amount that Canadians bought from the USA in return.
##BUY CANADIAN, BE FAIR!
You can't compare apples to apples when one side of the equation has 10 times the population. If we're trying to be fair, Trumpistan needs to buy 8 times more Canadian shit!
Tariffs on the Canadian side will be reciprocal and will only serve to make us stop buying Murcan shit, leading to an even bigger Trumped-up deficit and the loss of their biggest, best customer. Likely long-term.
There's no point in overanalyzing Trump's claims, he lies constantly. Regardless of the numbers, buying things is not subsidizing.
His supporters really believe every word he says. I've seen them on this site and others, complaining about how Canada leeches off the USA. If you ask them how, you get silence, because they have no idea. Their thought process seems to be: Trump says it, then I say it.
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What is this fucking moron's obsession with Canada being the 51st state? What a deranged maniac.
Elon is a Canadian citizen by birth. So if Canada becomes a state, he would qualify to be president (and theres precedent for this)
That's the only explanation that makes sense to me - like yeah, Trump wants to push for territorial expansion, and Canada does have a lot of natural resources, but Canada isn't an easy nut to crack
The other theory I buy into is the northern passage. Climate change is going to open up new shipping lanes in the artic, so Canada and Greenland both would be strategically located to control it - add in Panama, the hooties (sp?) and he's consistently pushing control of key shipping lanes
Oh that's horrible. I've been assuming it's "just" to sew instability for Putin, but if that's an Elon thing that's way more horrifying and a way bigger WWIII risk.
FYI: Canada has a Prime Minister, not a president. Your points still hold up all the same.
Oh, I mean the US president - if Canada became a state, Elon would be eligible
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I really don't think it's any deeper than "me good king, make kingdom bigger."
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Sometimes when you're having a tough time with other people, it might not be them that's causing the difficulty...
"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
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Smeagle hates nasty Orcses.
As unlikely as New England becoming Canada's newest province would be, it's STILL more likely than Canada ever becoming the 51st state.
I say this with admiration for Canada: when you back crazy cannucka into corners, they INVENT NEW WAR CRIMES that the international community hasn't thought to write laws against.
Canada burned the white house to the fucking ground before.
They'll do it again.
AND AMERICA WILL HAVE IT COMING.
I just wish New England could go ahead and join Canada already to ruin the US federal government's economy and industry. Cascadia (the states of California, Washington, and Oregon) should become a province too. what's left of the United States can't survive without receiving affirmative action participation trophies and charity from us. The whole world would be a better place.
So cruel to Minnesota and Illinois.
Also Colorado and New Mexico.
Honestly if those 2 went to Mexico the others could go to Canada the red and purple states could rot. The only tricky part would be the capital. Pretty sure Maryland and Virginia would want to sign up as maple leaves.
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What gives him the idea that a landmass larger than the Untied States should be a state?
What a shit stained liar that fat fuck is. He's lost his marbles, just because someone doesn't bend over and take what he is given doesn't mean they are nasty or the deal is one sided. America needs to wake the fuck up and fix their shit.
Canada needs to find new countries to trade with, improve whatever deals we already have and look to bring resource development/finishing into this country.
We need to stop thinking just about the US as our business partner that we feed. Germany has a high education level and cost of living and they are an engineering powerhouse. Same with South Korea Japan etc.
Now due to corporations want to save 10¢ on a pair of pants and they talked the government of the day into free trade, so they moved manufacturing offshore and guess what, yeah those shitty (according to some) manufacturing jobs just kept leaving, rust out the manufacturing ability of the US. Now it is coming back to haunt them.
So the orange Cheeto is now pissed as he would rather exploit the workers in the US which is fine but look into your own navel as it is America tha is sucking hind tit at being a capitalist country, all they want to do is continue to rob from the American people as much as possible.
America get your house in order. Stop treating allies like shit. We can repair this relationship but not unless real change is made in the US.
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