this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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HistoryPorn

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[–] [email protected] 101 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Stalin will take your lunch money

[–] [email protected] 65 points 6 days ago

He literally started it as a street thug and went on to be a hired assassin.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Expropriate* your lunch money.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Of course even as a child Churchill is smug

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In the "Last Lion", it's clear that he was pampered very much as a child by his mother, he was sickly often, and so she doted on him. At this stage in his life, he was very much a mother's boy.

It's amazing he turned out the way he did really. He still had some of those tendencies at the end, but a lot of his characteristics were exaggerated. For example his drinking. He didn't actually drink more than 1 mixed drink a day usually, which he pulled on from his flask throughout. Any of the brandy or sipping beverages he was famous for consuming were typically non-alcoholic so he could retain his wits and make others think he was less together than he was. It was an intentional strategy, also, he still had health issues that prevented him from consuming too much alcohol. But he turned that into an advantage.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

It's honestly pretty incredible how much English propaganda survived the war. I still hear people claim English fighter pilots were orange because of all the carrots they ate to improve their night vision, which was a myth created by the English to keep the Germans from realizing they'd figured out radar.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Funny how they all have different vibes.

Stalin looks like a bully. Hitler looks like he's been bullied and is going to be a school shooter.

Many of the others look like pompous twats and/or spoilt rich kids.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Churchill was a pompous, rich, spoiled kid. But he did a good job as the war needed.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hirohito was a prince and Roosevelt was old money. Idk about Eisenhower but American generals historically come from well to do backgrounds.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

After a cursory glance it seems like Eisenhower's family would've been firmly middle class, not great but not bad either. So pretty standard merchants.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 days ago (2 children)

As someone who used to work with kids a lot, every last one of them look like a little shit who is about to make my day at work measurably worse.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Lol yes! Eisenhower maybe ok but not if he’s dropped off dressed like that.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hitler looks like the kid which always has a runny nose and asks for games on your Smartphone.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Pretty much. He was bullied most of his life and was an intolerable dickhead. Few people liked him for who he was. He was a sociopath and learned how to manipulate people to pretend to be charismatic or charming to get what he wanted.

Which was revenge on all the people he felt wronged him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Surely that doesn’t describe any other political figures

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

mfw I get into work and it's already a shitshow

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

"Knowing my luck I'll end up being hung by my feet."

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Interesting that both Hitler and Stalin are looking down their noses at the camera.

That's probably reading too much into a snapshot. They're just kids here.

(But just in case, keep your eye on that little snot who does that in the yearbook)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago

I was going to say, maybe it’s the power of hindsight, but they both look like asshole shits and Mussolini looks like he is growing up with some serious emotional issues, maybe some hatred for women after his mother dressed him like that.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Hitler looks like an incel and Mussolini looks like he pooped his pants. (Edit: politeness)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Worse, pooped his pants on purpose and is proud of it!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago

so Hitler never changed his haircut since he was a child

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (4 children)

what is the source for this?

one doubts that such a photo of young Stalin exists, given the poverty in which the dictator grew up.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Can't verify that one specifically, but a handful survive of his parents, as well as this photo of him from a school yearbook in 1893:

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I can see it labeled as a school photo of him, but haven't found any original source confirming that

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

One might ask oneself “well… how did I get here?”

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Roosevelt is dressed like a rich kid, but his face says “don’t fuck with me”.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

His face says “bitch, did I tell you you could have some of my crackerjacks?”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

Hitler looked like he was useless little shithead even as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Frickin Minilini over here

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

They all kind of look like dickheads ngl. Like that annoying kid who always breaks boundaries.

(ie. they all look very full of themselves — I guess that’s how you become a leader…)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

Part of the problem may be that the convention back then was to not smile when taking a picture

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Idk, it's hard to be mad at kid Mussolini. He looks like he's just real upset to be there. All the other kids look like bullies or spoiled/sheltered nepo babies, though. Turn that frown upside down down, kid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

It would take him years, but the frown would eventually be turned upside down, under a bridge, if memory serves correctly.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

For Japan it really should be Tojo.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Mussolini looks like he’d be a sweet, if quiet, kid but will occasionally squeeze to death a small animal because someone didn’t bring him his tendies

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He looks like he just got yelled at by his parents to stay still for the photo.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Young Adolf really looks like a mini me version of Hitler, it's jarring to watch

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

Why are they using the first name for Getúlio only?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I had to look up Getulio, which appears to be Brazil's Getulio Vargas, of whom I had vaguely heard, but knew very little about. Which made for an informative read.

It's up for debate of he belongs in this life-up, instead of Mao, Pinochet, Franco or even Guevara or the north Koreans, but I'm not sure how available the childhood pictures of those are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'd think Spain's Franco would be more appropriate than Brazil.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Could already make out the trouble children

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Young Roosevelt looked remarkably like adult Ryan Gosling.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Roosevelt was a girl? Im shocked!

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