this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2025
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[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Second one is also free cause we all would use it on Musk the moment the first one worked with Trump.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Im killing Putin first. Hes the core problem, and the most evil of the richest billionaire club.

Gonna need 2 freebies mate.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Freebies? Those are mandatory and required. No shame if they are evil.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Shit man, I would pull up a picture index of the entire Republican party leadership as well as everyone funds and backs them and just start scribbling names down until my hand hurt and then I would just keep going powering through the pain.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think that's one thing I couldn't connect with with Death Note. Why bother going after criminals when there are tinpot dictators out there?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Because Light isn't a good person who's corrupted by power, he's a teen with a superiority complex who suddenly gets the power to kill a bunch of people. He is the tinpot dictator.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

This is very, very true.

He's mostly perceived as the good guy, because he's the protagonist. And protagonists can get away with quite a bit of f'd up stuff.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes. Also, most criminals are not evil, they were forced to do crime due to socioeconomic factors. Factors influenced by billionaires and politicians.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Now see, that's what friends are for.

You get your freebie and take out one billionaire, then you hand it to your bestie, he takes out one billionaire, they hand it to their bestie, they take out one billionaire, and you know, twenty-five, forty-five people down the line, or one relatively moderate-sized college campus, and the world is a better place and nobody has to suffer in between heaven and hell for the rest of eternity because of it.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you can probably fill the whole thing with morally acceptable people to disappear

I can think of like 5 within a second of thinking about it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Wikipedia is full of pages like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_current_United_States_senators with names, photos, and biographies. The scum bags that are destroying our world are not all a secret cult. They're just assholes in suits.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (10 children)

I've thought about this an unhealthy amount. Trump would shit himself to death on live TV. He would cry like a bitch and narrate his experience in great detail.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Moving on to kill all of the owning class because they are the source of all our problems tbh

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It could be 101: the first a surprise, the next 100 to establish a meaningful statistical correlation.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

can you be my lawyer please

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

But like it would be so unbelievable that you can't just say, oh x died bc I wrote his name, that would be ludicrous. You need a decent sample size. I think I'd need 3 freebies. Before that i would not believe this notepad kills people.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

What you do is have your first one be someone famous enough that you know when and how they die if it happens, and something that is specific as a cause and unlikely but not so implausible as to make the note resort to it's default instead. Like, make Putin trip and break his neck during a live broadcast event or something. You could easily design something plausible enough but still highly unlikely to randomly happen in exactly that way at that time.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"Surely that was a fluke, it won't work for a second time!"

"Twice in a row? What are the chances. I wonder if it works with pencil instead of pen."

...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Penpineappleapplepen!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Invariably I'd have drawn a comedy penis in there somewhere, and some poor lad somewhere would likely find his plonker refusing to work one night, or died with his old chap at full mast for maximum embarrassment.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Or you accidentally murder some guy with the misfortune to be named "Dick".

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

It's still pretty unrealistic that anyone actually figured out how the deaths were occurring. Even if you thought "maybe it's magic" nobody else would take it seriously.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I recently watched the series. Well, at least up to a certain point anyway. I'm convinced that L isn't so much a genius detective as Light was just overwhelmingly fucking stupid

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I watched the whole thing and I agree.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Consume nothing but sugar and become him.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Light fucks up early on by killing the fake L on live TV, making it pretty clear there’s a person behind it.

L has a mega freak out when he does realize it’s magic, because it doesn’t fit with his logical view of the world.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Tbf the fake L did say it was a worldwide broadcast and Light wanted to be "god of a new world". It was a major fuck up no doubt, but if it was worldwide then L wouldn't have been able to narrow him down to a specific region of Japan, and Light would have been able to announce himself to the world.

Light is childish and hates to lose... because he's a high schooler. Idk his age but probably 17-18. Idk how many kids that age would have gotten as far as Light did.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"What a cool notebook! I'm going to make this my new personal phone book and spend all afternoon putting all my contacts in it."

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I recently saw a sticker that said, "If at first you don't succeed, try a few more times to establish a baseline."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It starts off innocently but before long, you are eating snacks

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

One too many potato chips is all it takes.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Iirc, you can write how the person behaves before death on the death note. You can easily write your own life fanfic and peaceful death there to ensure you don't get Raito'd or L'd in the meantime

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I think there was a pretty short limit on how far in the future you could write someone's death.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, if the circumstances described are impossible, it will default to a heart attack.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think there was a pretty short limit on how far in the future you could write someone’s death.

23 days. You had 40 seconds to write a cause of death and 6:40 to write the details, and could even pre-write the details and add the name(s) afterward but the Death Note could not effect anything that occurred more than 23 days in the future, with the exception of dying by a disease that would take longer than that to progress and not writing a time (in which case they develop the disease but die when/how the disease would take them). The real problem is that you also can't use the Death Note to directly extend someone's life by writing that they die after they normally would - if you try they just die however they would have died if you hadn't used the note. You can however use the Death Note to kill someone who is a threat to another, indirectly saving their life.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

the first thing I would do is write my name in it so no one steals it

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Remember, when someone unexpectedly kicks the bucket. That leads to a power vaccuum. Instead, you got to go after the middle managers. The people who carry out a politican's agenda. In theory, another faction would be able to capitalize on the situation. While taking out some politicans would be a net beneft, the fallout would be terrible. A civil war in nuclear armed Russia? Another Middle East war?

Now when it comes to billionaries and the other parasites. Take those fuckers out. The World doesn't have to worry about a corporate power vaccuum taking everyone down like a civil war in a country.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Doesn't a shinigami come and explain how it works? It's been a bit since I've seen death note so I don't remember if that happens before or after you use it. If it's before, there's no reason to assume it wouldn't work since a supernatural being appears to explain how it works which adds credibility.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

In the anime, the shinigami only came after the first kill IIRC. Light only had the tutorial text in the notebook to go off of.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If you write "person xyz dies in a month" you have plenty of time to write down thousands of names before the first one dies, and in all this time you can always make the reasonable assumption that it won't work anyways.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Death note would be impossible in current year. Like, your test use would have to be on a huge name otherwise your phone analytics would super rat you out. I can just imaging light starting to get ads for burner phones and VPNs.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Ok but that sounds like exactly the kind of shit test God puts people through in religious parables.

Give them an unbelievable and entirely random thing that SAYS it's supernaturally evil (and it actually is, but it's also so out of left field--) and if they don't take the warning at face value and put it back down they will go to hell forever or something.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Death Note should get a new series and it should be entirely about every evil billionaire currently alive in 2025

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